Thread: I'm so alone in this game.

Because I feel awkward just talking to people.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can approach other people?

do not be shy about talking to people, then what would be the purpose of a chat? First of find people who are questing the same area you are in.

First off, what level are you in? What server? Class?

After, you can ask help from people, go to LFF section of your chat (it stands for Looking For Fellowship) and go ahead and ask if you are looking for a fellow, or simply need help.
Join conversations in the OOC section (Out of Character) of chat, you can also ask for help if you are simply new to the game (I'm assuming you are, no offense intended)
The purpose of an MMORPG is to join other people and simply hang out and/or quest with them.

And most importantly... HAVE FUN OR YOU WILL FEEL THE TIP OF MY BLADE! Nah im just kidding, but seriously go have some fun.

Originally Posted by Durian10

d
Join conversations in the OOC section (Out of Character) of chat, you can also ask for help if you are simply new to the game (I'm assuming you are, no offense intended).

This is a great piece of advice.

Originally Posted by Durian10

do not be shy about talking to people, then what would be the purpose of a chat? First of find people who are questing the same area you are in.

First off, what level are you in? What server? Class?

After, you can ask help from people, go to LFF section of your chat (it stands for Looking For Fellowship) and go ahead and ask if you are looking for a fellow, or simply need help.
Join conversations in the OOC section (Out of Character) of chat, you can also ask for help if you are simply new to the game (I'm assuming you are, no offense intended)
The purpose of an MMORPG is to join other people and simply hang out and/or quest with them.

And most importantly... HAVE FUN OR YOU WILL FEEL THE TIP OF MY BLADE! Nah im just kidding, but seriously go have some fun.

Thank you! I'll do that.

Yeah, I'm new. Been involved with MMORPGs before, just got into LotRO and I love it so far. I'm a level twelve elf hunter. :I
Next time I'm playing I'll make conversation.

Originally Posted by tithenel

Thank you! I'll do that.

Yeah, I'm new. Been involved with MMORPGs before, just got into LotRO and I love it so far. I'm a level twelve elf hunter. :I
Next time I'm playing I'll make conversation.

There ya go! I had this problem almost 30 years ago when I first started learning how to speak Tagalog. I was so scared of making a fool out of myself by making mistakes. Now I speak really well and can even write in it now.

Oh and since your new, I have some advice. Take the time to stop every once in a while and check out the scenery. It's a beautiful world that Turbine made.

The golden rule is to approach them from a 90 degree angle.

I was originally shy when I began playing the game but what really got me into it was joining a very friendly and social kinship. A good kinship really makes you feel welcome and they're there to support you. It's important to join a friendly kin and not a hardcore raiding kin. You can always join a raiding kin later but they are typically not as kind.

Originally Posted by Nymphonic

There ya go! I had this problem almost 30 years ago when I first started learning how to speak Tagalog. I was so scared of making a fool out of myself by making mistakes. Now I speak really well and can even write in it now.

Oh and since your new, I have some advice. Take the time to stop every once in a while and check out the scenery. It's a beautiful world that Turbine made.

HOY HOY HOY!!! Pilipino ka pala ah?

Originally Posted by Fendrone

...what really got me into it was joining a very friendly and social kinship. A good kinship really makes you feel welcome and they're there to support you.

This is the first thing that came to mind. I would recommend spending a good amount of time researching potential kinships.

If you play enough and chat a little you will eventually form a good network of friends. From my experience this is one of the best communities you will find in an MMO.

The Reaving Red Shirts! "MY" creep kin that pushes the boundaries of expandability! Of all the kins on both creeps and freeps, we have the highest mortality rates in all of the Windfola server.

I was going to suggest joining a kin as well, if you join and find a bunch of people welcome you in kinchat, great. If you join and there's no discussion during your regular play times, leave and join a different one.

Ask questions. Conversations evolve not by answering things, but by engaging in discussion.

"How are you today?" "Fine." Done.

"How are you today?" "Fine, and yourself?" "OK thanks." Done.

"How are you today? "Fine, and yourself?" "OK thanks, what are your plans now?" "I hadn't decided on a skirm or questing, want to do something?" "Nah, I'm tied up here." "When might you be free? Or might I help with what you are doing?"

The other way to approach people is respond to them. People are always looking for answers, help, runs, buyers, all sorts of stuff, simply respond to things you are comfortable with.



"Sometimes survival comes down to not being hit. Actually, most times." -the chicken skill, Bob and Weave

Best thing you can do is join a social/casual kinship.
It won't be hard finding one. Just type 'looking for a social/casual kinship' in globallff and you'll get tons of replies.

Those kind of kinships usually have a bunch of players chatting and goofing around.
It's madness how strange some conversations get. Not Sparta... just madness.

Originally Posted by Durian10

HOY HOY HOY!!! Pilipino ka pala ah?

Hindi, puti na ako! Ang awasa ko Pilipina pero natuto na ako sa mga kaibigan ko.


Translation:

Durian10: Are you Filipino?

Me: No, I'm white. My wife is Filipina but I learned from my friends.

Originally Posted by Nymphonic

Hindi, puti na ako! Ang awasa ko Pilipina pero natuto na ako sa mga kaibigan ko.


Translation:

Durian10: Are you Filipino?

Me: No, I'm white. My wife is Filipina but I learned from my friends.

Born and raised in the Philippines for 14 years before i moved to Canada, but yeah, I'm a Filipino..... it's asawa, not awasa.... just saying.

Originally Posted by Durian10

it's asawa, not awasa.... just saying.

You know, I knew that. 12 years of MMOs and I still cannot type a post without a typo. *SIGH* It's a wonder the blue names don't get on me for over using the Edit Post feature!

Originally Posted by Nymphonic

You know, I knew that. 12 years of MMOs and I still cannot type a post without a typo. *SIGH* It's a wonder the blue names don't get on me for over using the Edit Post feature!

All hail the magnificent keyboards with keys so close to each other.

Hi and welcome to Lotro!

When i started i was way more afraid of the chat-box than of some signature beasts that wanted to kill me. Not kidding. Now after a while i am happy that i managed to overcome that fear. You could propably play Lotro solo the hole way - it would still be a good game - but i can tell you that the fun after you start to work together with other people is amazing. It is a whole new game.

A couple of tips for you:
Hard as it might be, try to approach someone and send them a tell. The reason they dont send you a tell might wery well be they are even more afraid than you! It's easier to respond than start for us 'shy people'. If someone is in the same area as you, they propably have the same quests.

Always think of: 'Whats the worst thing that can happen?' You send a tell and they ignore you. Pretty nice 'worst case scenario' to be honest, wish normal life was this easy;-)

If you happen to be on the evernight-server, please send me a tell. Feel free to use me for chat-practising:-)

Happy hunting and may the computer-dice roll your way!

/Tobias

Originally Posted by Aisolon

Best thing you can do is join a social/casual kinship.
It won't be hard finding one. Just type 'looking for a social/casual kinship' in globallff and you'll get tons of replies.

Those kind of kinships usually have a bunch of players chatting and goofing around.
It's madness how strange some conversations get. Not Sparta... just madness.

This.

But even among social/casual kins there are differences and you should have in mind what you are looking for. Are you a bit older and looking for a more mature kin? Some have age limits of age 18+ (or something) to help discourage juvinile chatter. On the other hand, if you're a teen and that's exactly the kind of chatter you are looking for, there are plenty of kins like that as well.

You'll also want to be looking for a more active kin. Once trying one out those are easy to spot. Are there always kinnies (and at least one officer) on? Are they talking? Are they doing things together?

And finally, you'll want a kin with lots of members still below cap. Friendly kinnies are always keen to help others out, but doing an instance with other kinmates is more fun if you are close to on level. Sure, its easy to blast through the Great Barrows (the first major group content beginning at lvls20-25 and up) for the first time with a bunch 75s, but you won't really learn anything that way about group play.

But most of all, enjoy this wonderful game.

Originally Posted by RJFerret

"How are you today?" "Fine." Done.

Whenever people in-game start off a conversation like this with me I get the same impression I do in real life when a stranger says something similar - that they are trying to sell me something/get me to join their church group.

I would add to talk to people outside of banks/stores/craft areas. I know at those places I'm usually trying to get something done (cleaning out inventory) and don't feel like talking. And when crafting I'm probably AFK or anything in the chat log scrolls off screen to quick.

I was like you at first too, but then I realized one thing which suddenly made me social - I'm completely anonymous in this game when it comes to the *real* me, not the char. Nobody knows who I am, so I need not be embarrassed for what I say

I know many people abuse others and act like ***holes because they know they are anonymous, but it has a positive aspect too.

You are definitely not alone!

I too struggle with talking to other people, and some days are worse than others and I can't log in because of it. However, when I do log in, I can have a great time playing with other people.

Finding a kin is a good start. You can post you are looking for a kin in a regional channel, or on globallff/glff, but if that's too much for you, you can try answering advertisements if you see in them in local channels. On the servers I'm on, usually hanging out in Bree for a little while is long enough to see someone post one. Kins are there to help out other members, so when you join don't be afraid to ask for help. If the kin gets quiet and you find yourself online alone a lot, don't feel guilty about leaving and trying out another kin.

Also I find replying to people asking for help in LFF is a great way to meet people. Doesn't have to be an instance like GB (though my first GB was the most fun I'd had in the game since I'd started, even if it didn't go too well), just someone asking for help to take down a difficult boss can lead to some fun teamwork. Even if you don't know what is involved, you can send a simple tell saying "I'm level 'such-and-such', can I help you?".

Lotro has a great community, and much better than any other online game I've tried. If you say something, the worst you can expect to get is silence, but chances are someone out there will answer you and help you out.

Another good way to strike up a conversation is to ask a question in the /advice channel. Lots of folks in the area will chime in with advice and one question will often prompt many others, making for a lively and fun chat. Good things can come of this!

If your going to join a casual kin, remember , its your own standards that come first. IF you are not comfortable with some banter, there are kins out there that enforce in chat and behavoir (usually people who join, recognize what wouldnt be acceptable) usually for family play.

Not every kin is like that trust me. There are times in some kins, its hard to ask if anyone wants to run stuff, becuase the blue chatter of death is non stop about cough *ahem* people chatting with da ladies stuff.

Frankly, if you want to do that, it should be outside of the kinship, not within the chat. But thats me. Others might be ok with it.

I try to stay away from certain topics, unless Im really comfortable with the people.

Im a parent, I have a automatic affinity to most others, so a good question for me would be, hey how the kids, what you planning to do with them for xyz vacation , holiday.

DONT accept just any invitation, you can broadly put out, "hey looking for casual kinship" or you can put it out like this, "New to the game, looking for a friendly enviroment to chat with people, ask that its family friendly" or something to that effect.

You will always have people not respect your own standards, but they our yours, not thiers. You should stop worrying about the pack mentalilty the day after HS graduation =).

Maybe this doesnt apply to you, but just wanted to warn you about it first. Its supposed to be a family friendly game, but inside kin chat, sometimes its not.

Alot of the examples people are using are of the 'dipping your toe in the water' variety. I'd like to alternatively suggest taking a plunge and doing a connonball into the water...

Join large groups that are doing easy instances or deeds. Find the strength in numbers to involve yourself in the conversation. This may help you feel better about aqward pauses or what the group is focusing on. Its all about your personality. Some are better at one on one chat, while others thrive in groups where the focus doesn't lie on one person and conversation can flow at multiple levels and directions.

Originally Posted by tithenel

Because I feel awkward just talking to people.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can approach other people?

A good way to interact is to answer someone’s question in the advice channel if you know the answer. Nothing fancy, just answer the question. From that often simple chit chat arises, you’ll be fine.

I think the best way is to join a kinship and little by little get to know the people and tell a little bit about you, get to participate in their chats, listen and read a lot before start talking and then little by little ask questions, dont ask for mats, parts, items, armor or beg for money that will totally alienate you.

I didn't really get into the social aspects of the game until I arrived in Bree a month or so ago. Music is the international language, and there's usually someone playing music outside the Prancing Pony. Use emotes, if you are too shy to use words, to express thanks, cheer on the musician, and dance, etc. Don't worry--I had to make it through Ered Luin and the Shire, too, but believe me, it gets better! I'm on Gladden as Katerica the Hobbit Burglar and Risu the Elf Minstrel, not sure if you're there too, but feel free to strike up a conversation with me (or just wave).

It took me getting 2 toons to level 20 and another to 10 before I started talking to people. I have joined numerous kins but none have gotten me as involved as the one I am in now. I chat with them and run raids with them on a regular basis. They are very friendly and have brought me out of my shell.

Morale of my story, the right kin will make you feel comfortable enough to talk and socialize. They will make you feel like part of the family. You will probably have to try a few on before you find the right one for you but don't be afraid...you can always leave and join another if you don't feel comfortable with any of them. It's not a liftime committment. And if you're on Riddermark and you see me or any of my kinmates say hello, they are all very friendly.