I know everyone is waiting for the duo to arrive, and they will when those darn customs folk let them through.
Who would have guessed the land of guns would be so picky about Roxxor arriving at the airport with his battleaxe...
As soon as I get the disclaimer wording past the solicitors....erm...lawyers... I will let the Duo loose on the world.
As America is the land of repeats....thankyou for that export to the UK .... .
I knew they would appreciate repeats of the episodes we all read over two years ago. YaY....Europe got them first
The USA is known as the land of guns across the pond?
Well, I know in Canada they all think we're gun-toting warmonger rednecks, but I can't speak for those roll-overs in the Old Country who don't even know how to shoot.
(At the risk of sounding like a stick in the mud, here's the translation: Generalizations are sometimes unfunny in mixed company. And for the record, I don't even know how to hold a gun, let alone shoot one.)
(disclaimer)
Any similarity to players and characters are intended.
I accept no responsibility for innuendo and misrepresentation of playstyles.
All stories are fictional though I do strive to maintain an air of mystery based on factual events.
At times Names and places have been changed to protect the sanity of the reader, and the self esteem of the players.
Though I aim to maintain standards of humour and comprehensive literature there may be discrepancies in the timeline and changes beyond comprehension occasionally...I refer to this as the 'soap opera' clause (witnessed in many televised productions during prime time viewing).
Pease refer to 'westenders' and 'corrolation street' for examples of this clause.
If any offence is caused in the 'Dweeb & Roxxor' show I would appreciate you airing that grievance in public on the forum where it will recieve the care and attention it deserves .....(a cheap reference in the next story )
GAME EXPERIENCE MAY CHANGE DURING ONLINE PLAY
LOGIN COMPLETE..
MOTD "There are people who, instead of listening to what is being said to them, are already listening to what they are going to say themselves."
Welcome to Lord of the Rings Online.
Roxxor
/tell dweeb “Hey there Dweeb…..you made your char yet ?”
Dweeb
/tell roxxor “Yes I am here Roxxor, Now you remember what I explained to you about where we are to meet, and how to get there ?”
Roxxor
/tell dweeb “sure I do, you think I am the noob the way you talk to me…..nooooob !”
Dweeb
/tell roxxor “I will start my journey now and meet you at journey’s end my friend”
Roxxor
/tell dweeb “np m8tey….see you there”
Dweeb looks around as he walks to the stables, embracing the ambience of his surroundings. Pausing for a moment to listen to the songs of birds hidden in the trees that surround him.
Dweeb
/tell roxxor “This land is incredible….the flowers in the meadows actually move in the breeze, What is it like where you are ?”
The young deer eating the grass beneath the tree looks up curiously as Roxxor approaches it……
Roxxor
/tell Dweeb “it sucks man….i have been killing foxes rabbits and deer for 5 mins now …and I still have no xp !!! I mean how am I supposed to get xp ?
Dweeb
/tell roxxor “stop killing them Roxxor, they don’t give experience because they are regular critters to make the land more …alive”
Roxxor
/tell dweeb “so you telling me on laurelin even the critters are roleplaying ?”
Dweeb
/tell roxxor “well …….I suppose that is one way to view them, so don’t go killing the “RP” creatures…ok ?”
Roxxor
/tell dweeb “sure thing dweebie….guess I got a lot to learn about rp servers here”
Dweeb
/tell roxxor “And don’t forget that in talk you have to respect the rules of the server and no abbreviation talk (leet speek) …and always stay in character”
Roxxor
/tell dweeb “can I roleplay not liking critters and kill more then ?”
Dweeb
/tell roxxor “NO!! …they are no xp and here to make the place nice…..and if you rp a dwarf murdering critters my elf will have to protect them and we can’t rp together can we”
Roxxor
/tell dweeb “geez man…take a chill pill and unknot those tights of yours will ya…..I will leave the critters alone …ok ?”
Dweeb
/tell roxxor “Ok, you at the stablemaster yet ?....i’m doing swift travel to our meeting point now…see you there”
Roxxor
/tell dweeb “I see the horseman at the other side of this field of critters….meet you there in 2 mins man”
A Pack of Wild Boar look at Roxxor as he runs across their field……..
Dweeb arrives in Bree
Roxxor arrives in Bree
Dweeb
“There you are Mighty Roxxor…erm…what happened to you my friend ?..You have the shadow of defeat about you”
Roxxor
“Next time I see RP critters…I am using my axe !!!”
The USA is known as the land of guns across the pond?
Aye, you lot are. "Every american have at least four guns and a submachine gun at home" is the 'common knowledge' from over here in Europe.
Like i wrote in a blog post some time ago...
"I am what ya might call a metalhead. You know, 190cm high, long hair and a goatee, usually wear black. I've been thinking of visiting the United States and have a roadtrip or something, but when ya look at those gun laws 'over there' I'm not that tempted.
Just imagine me walking happily down on a sidewalk, minding my own businness and enjoying my vacation. Then, on the other side of the street a little, sweet, out-of-her-mind-on-perscripted-pills, old lady sees me, gets nervous and pulls out her Magnum .44 (she has a permit for 2 more and a semi-automatic) and blasts off a couple of rounds...
Nah, think I'll rather take a trip to Irak...seems like a much safer place...."
Dont misunderstand me now, I've got nothing against americans and got a lot of friends from there, but ya asked if that was the "common view" of the USA, and it is...
to compare:
I'm from Norway... and in this country its first-page stuff in the newspapers, if a kid in school threatens another kid with a knife... a butterknife...at 10 meters distance... Noone here carries guns around, the cops in the streets do not carry guns and most home-owners does not have one either. Some farmers do, but thats for hunting moose and other wild (tasty) animals.
GAME EXPERIENCE MAY CHANGE DURING ONLINE PLAY
LOGIN COMPLETE..
MOTD " Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.”
Welcome to Lord of the Rings Online.
Dweeb
“Well here we are Mighty Roxxor, we have travelled far to reside in the safety of the walls of Bree”
Roxxor
”It looks bigger than Stormreach …do the elves here have those radar antenna ears ?”
Dweeb
“I am sure you will find many …..different….peoples of the free world here My friend”
Roxxor
“yeah, I saw different already m8tey, its hard to tell if a dwarf is a bloke or a cutie”
Dweeb
“Ah yes, the Dwarf are A very …private….people, It is difficult to distinguish between a male or female dwarf, this has led to the misconception that there are in fact only male dwarves because they all have beards.”
Roxxor
“I know what you mean…with the elves it’s the opposite, they all look like cuties……...I got to be careful there ..LOLZ”
Dweeb
“But we must not let appearances stop us binding together as a free people in unity against the evil that is abroad in these lands Mighty Roxxor”
Roxxor
“hey look there is a player dwarf dweebie……you go and find where the alehouse is and I will sell this junk to the vendor here”. /e points at target
Roxxor points at Scotchy
Dweeb
“Good day and well met to you master Dwarf, My friend over there…and I….have just arrived in Bree and look for a dwelling to shelter us for the night”
GAME EXPERIENCE MAY CHANGE DURING ONLINE PLAY
LOGIN COMPLETE..
MOTD "Never take life seriously, Nobody ever gets out alive anyway .”
Welcome to Lord of the Rings Online.
Dweeb “Well here we are Mighty Roxxor, my loyal travelling companion.
Roxxor “lolz….Prancing pony sounds like horse earobic classes”
Dweeb “ Don’t mock this place My friend, this is the place of legend I told you about. The trade hub of the great East West road that cuts through this land.”
Roxxor “yeah….but have you seen the sign up there ?”
Dweeb “There are many weary travellers over the years that see that sign as a place of refuge and safety…..not as a source of …..dwarf….humour”
Roxxor “Have it your way…….im just telling you what I see mate”
Dweeb “Inside you will find a bustling centre of activity as friends are made, deals are struck, and unsavoury characters lurk in the shadows”
Roxxor “they have a barber in there too ….think I can get blue a mohican cut ?”
Katstefans “Good day and well met to you fellows, Katstefans is the name……entertainment is my game” /bow
{Katstefans bows}
Dweeb “Good day Katstefans…….are you the Minstrel we have heard spoken of so often in our travels ?”
Roxxor “what you talking about Dweeb ? ..we just started…………”
Dweeb “You must forgive my Friend here, his memory is not as it should be. All the …..battles he has fought has left a terrible scar on his perception of time."
Katstefans “Yes I am well known for the music I bring to this town of ours”
Roxxor “you do abc’s or keys mate ?”
Katstefans “((ooc sometimes I play using my midi but I am using abc tonight, got some really good ones from the lotro links))”
Dweeb “It must be so rewarding to give such a beautiful gift to the free peoples Katstefans” /bow
{Dweeb bows deeply to Katstefans}
Roxxor “cool…when can I start making beer so I can start giving too?”
Katstefans “I am sure your gift will be appreciated master Dwarf….I look forward to drinking to your health someday my friend. But today let me offer you my hospitality, and play you a melody in the Pony”
Dweeb “That is a most generous offer Master Katstefans…and one my friend and I shall graciously accept”
Katstefans “I shall meet you inside in a moment then” /wave
{Katstefans waves to everyone}
Dweeb “That is a most fortunate meeting Mighty Roxxor, we have been accepted as a friend by a most respected Minstrel. Now we must remember that we are the new citizens here and your……erm…our…. actions must be watched so as not to…… inadvertently ……. cause offence”
Roxxor “What you saying stringy ?…you suggesting I cant be part of the finer visitors of the dancing cow ?”
Dweeb “These are village folk My friend, they have simple needs and desires, All come here to catch up with the news and smoke a pipeweed with A Barliman ale….don’t go rocking the boat is all I am …..suggesting”
Roxxor “stop freaking wil you im cool to listen to country music and do some cutie watching. Just get inside before this rain rusts me armour …LOL”
The heavy oak door of the Pony swings open surprisingly easily on it’s well oiled hinges, A feature of a well used inn that wise travellers understand. As they enter in anticipation as the Duo are silhouetted to those inside, But even this is enough for the folk to know that two new travellers had entered their domain.
In the corner half hidden in the shadows eyes peer out from under a hooded cloak….”Chickennnssesssss” A voice hisses as a raven walks close by.
Dweeb “It seems a friendly enough place Mighty Roxxor”
Roxxor “is that elf on the stairs a cutie dweeb ?”
{Katstefans beckons to Dweeb}
{Katstefans beckons to Roxxor}
Katstefans “Ready for that melody I promised you my good friends ?”
Dweeb “Yes we are ….A merry melody ?”
Roxxor “sure thing m8tey”
Katstefans “ Then A dancing song it is my friends !! ”
Roxxor “ erm, how do I dance ????”
Katstefans “Ah, you have not danced before……then let me explain as I play”
Roxxor “sure, thnx man”
Katstefans “First…..you take a step to the left…….”
Katstefans /music /play Partyhitz1
Roxxor /dance
{Roxxor Dances around}
Dweeb “erm……very…….different from …..Rivendell ….Katstefans” /clap
{Dweeb claps for Katstefans}
Roxxor “…that was awesome !!!!...YOU DA MAN Kat..,,,,,,,YOU DA MAN !!!!! Man I gotta get me some Bagpipes soon ”
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GAME EXPERIENCE MAY CHANGE DURING ONLINE PLAY
LOGIN COMPLETE..
MOTD "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.”
Welcome to Lord of the Rings Online.
Roxxor Yo there Dweebie !!!
Dweeb Good Afternoon and well met Mighty Roxxor.
Roxxor I heard there is a band playing at the pony L8terz ?
Dweeb Ah, yes I did see a poster on the town gates announcing a troupe of minstrels will be playing this very evening.
Roxxor I missed that, I saw it in OOC just before you logged on m8tey .
Dweeb ((I saw it in ooc also, but there is no OOC in middle earth so I made up where I saw the announcement in roleplay terms))
Roxxor oops, got you my little rp dudette
Dweeb Are you attending the event Mighty Roxxor ?
Roxxor almost got my next lvl so I will finish these quests before i go laterz
Dweeb I am sure It will be a night to remember my friend.
Roxxor I dunno man, those RP tagged dudes sort of creep me out..
Dweeb ((It’s a Roleplay server and I also keep my Tag on as you know ))
Roxxor Yeah…but your RP Tag is Roleplay…..Their tag stands for Report Player …..LOLZ !!!
Dweeb (( there are standards that should be adhered to I Tolkiens world My friend))
Roxxor yeah I heard that name before from the rp tells….all I get when I login is the Turbine logo ??....is tolkien the game engine designer ?
Dweeb ((No, Tolkien is the professor who created the world of Arda..that is the name of this place))
Roxxor a prof !!!!…wow man….I wish my teecher would talk about hot elf chicks and ale in our lessons !!!
Dweeb ((You really should make an effort to respect the rules of the server my friend, you will find it stops a lot of confusion and aggrevation))
Roxxor I try dude…..but the rep player squad nails my ### to the wall when I dont get it !!!
Dweeb ((Well you do make it confusing when your IC talk is confused with OOC talk))
Roxxor I don’t even know what IC and OOC is …LOLZ !!!
Dweeb ((IC is in character talk…..and OOC out of character normal talk..and we put OOC talk in these double brackets so it is clear that what is said is my real talk))
Roxxor haha…..I thought it was IC for “In C**T” mode….and… OOC was “out of control” ….
Dweeb (( just do us all a favour and use the double brackets to clear up any misunderstandings..ok ?))
Roxxor sure will dweebie, thanks for the education I owe u man.
Parsnip /bow
*Parsnip bows to Roxxor*
Roxxor hi there little Hobbit, how you doing ?
Parsnip Good evening, I am Parsnip the hobbit of shiredome and captain of the guard of Bree.
Roxxor Need some dwarf barak power to crack heads In the militia ?
Parsnip ((I saw your friend was telling you how to talk ooc…..so I wont report you this time to the gm))
Roxxor I am a warrior dwarf of the frozen mountains and I have come to bree to eat al the hobbits I can find, but I won’t eat you this time…now the OOC part ..
((YOU CAN &^%% MY *&* And GO AND $%^% WHERE THE &^&** GOES NOW TO &^%^$%…..OK!!!! …………NOW **** OFF !!))
*Parsnip makes a rude gesture to Roxxor and runs off to the guard quarters*
Dweeb ((well at least you know how to OOC now))
Roxxor yeah I am starting to enjoy this RP stuff.
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GAME EXPERIENCE MAY CHANGE DURING ONLINE PLAY
LOGIN COMPLETE..
MOTD "Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.”
Welcome to Lord of the Rings Online.
Dweeb Good evening Mighty Roxxor, That is fine armour you wear my friend.
Roxxor Yup, its needed when you leave the Prats pony you know.
Dweeb Ah, you have been to the Batlefields I assume, a place where a warrior needs keen wits, a sharp blade….and a keen eye to land those arrows.
Roxxor Hey…...don’t forget mighty muscles to smash them with me hammer m8tey.
Dweeb Ah..of course, how could I forget to of your finest assets…Brute strength and ignorance. /chuckle
{Dweeb chuckles to Roxxor}
Roxxor yeah dude…..the chicks dig big muscles. /flex
{Roxxor flexes his muscles for all}
Dweeb Are you returning to the field of battle now ?
Roxxor sure thing my rp dudeette….only came back to get some more speed potions
Dweeb Speed ?....I am surprised you would require such a potion my stout companion.
Roxxor Hey….you saying I got short legs ??....I can still reach up and kick your ### !!!!!!
Dweeb You misunderstand me my friend, I meant no offence.
Roxxor Yeah…well when you got twenty of those scary creatures running toward you …let me see you standing there alone.
Dweeb I have not the skill, or desire to enter a battlefield..In this I bow in respect to your bravery and skill. /bow
{Bweeb bows to Roxxor}
Roxxor Yeah, well its fine making fun of me safe in the dancing cow…..but some of us have to work hard for our skills you know.
Dweeb Yes, It is the skills that define who we are….what we can achieve……and what makes a leader the beacon of hope to those that follow…
Roxxor er……sure ……
Dweeb Tell me Roxxor the mighty, what trait do you seek in the Ettenmoors this day ?....I will sing in song and recount in tales the bravery of this day.
Roxxor Ettenmoors ?....
Dweeb yes….the place of mighty battles where many enemies rush to face you …….
Roxxor what are you on Bweebie ???
Dweeb I don’t understand ..you are going to face the many foe in dangerous lands to earn your new skill ?
Roxxor Yeah…..as I said….I’m going to the shire to learn the new Hobbity dance !!! …and I advise you also to take a speed potion to get out fast if the RP locals spot you !!!
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GAME EXPERIENCE MAY CHANGE DURING ONLINE PLAY
LOGIN COMPLETE..
MOTD "Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.”
Welcome to Lord of the Rings Online.
Dweeb Let me buy you a Barliman ale my friend, and you can tell my why such an anguished look
{Alucard stands in the shadows avoiding the light streaming through the window}
Roxxor sure thing dweebie
Dweeb /e beckons to barmaid
{Dweeb Beckons to Alemate}
{Alemate notices a customer beckoning from the far table and elegantly glides amongst the tables gracefully as she effortlessly balances her tray of ales in the one hand and her cleaning cloth in the other}
Alemate Evenin’ luv, what will ye be ‘avin then ?
Dweeb Good evening miss…Two Barliman best for my friend and I who have earned an evening or relaxation
Alemate Four Barlimans …and ye lads be wantin’ any food wit’ that ?
Dweeb erm … miss, I said Two Barliman best.ONE for my friend, and ONE for Myself
Roxxor four sounds good to me……bring them on woman, and give the food a miss, I know what junk barli buys here /lol
{Roxxor Laughs at chair}
Alemate be right wiv you then ducky
{Alemate collects mugs and plates from the tables as she passes on her return to the bar }
Alucard Let me assist you with those mugs miss...................
{Alucard attempts to pull barmaid behind the counter}
{Alemate drops the glasses as she feels the strong embrace of the elven figure}
{Alucard wrestles her to the floor and reveals his fangs to her as he admires her delicate neck}
{Alemate feels faint as the hypnotic gaze of her aggressor focuses on her}
{Alucard sinks his fangs into the neck of his victim and relaxes as the warmth of her blood quenches his thirst}
{Alemate feels the sensation of dying…..then living….as she ponders the question in her mind of the effects of becoming undead}
{Alucard, His thirst quenched …. Releases her from his grasp and slips quietly away into the shadows once again}
{Alemate stands looking quite shaken by the experience as she emerges from behind the bar}
{Alemate feels the changes in her as she pours the four barliman ales into large mugs}
Dweeb So my friend…..tell me why your mood looks foul
Roxxor Im getting frustrated man…….
{Alemate walks among the tables clearing the mugs with a distant expression on her face as she attempts to continue her evening shift}
Dweeb I don’t understand, what is wrong ?
{Soritdone looks at Alemate with an expression of superior intelligence as he uses his superior power of will to beckon her to him}
Roxxor it’s this laurelin place man…..I cant get the hang of this roleplay at all
{Alemate feels compelled to approach the stranger with the hypnotic gaze}
Dweeb I understand, it is a new realm we have travelled to my mighty warrior friend, here we are the outsiders who should look around us to see what is expected of us.
{Soreitdone plants in the mind of Alemate his home address and name along with the time she will meet him there}
Roxxor Yeah I know man….its just that I cant get better at roleplay if nobody does it with me can I ….
{Alemate feels she has the desire to visit the bree homesteads after her shift ends this evening as she nonchalantly nods she understands to the imposing gentleman before her.}
Dweeb Ah…Now I start to understand your frustration my eager for knowledge friend…
{Soreitdone indicates with a subtle movement of his head that he will be taking some items to the auction house then crafting some of the finest blades ever to grace middle earth before he returns to the bree homesteads.}
Roxxor You got any ideas then ? cos if the looking to report players assh***s bug me again about how to rp a stunty scotchy dwarf im gonna take my axe to some skulls
{Alemate arrives at the table and places four mugs of barliman best before the two customers}
barmaid that will be 8 copper each me loves…..and I don’t ave change for a silver before you ask.
Dweeb Thankyou….and I will pay with a silver, with the change as a tip for your prompt service
{Alemate gives dweeb a polite curtsey as she removers her apron in one deft movement.}
Alemate thank you kind sirs…if you need anything more the other staff will be pleased to ‘elp as I am just orf for the night now…
Roxxor so where am I supposed to find roleplayers then ?. Nothing ever happens here in the Pony does it.
Dweeb Well it’s unfortunate we came on a quiet evening. If we come on a busy night we should find some of what we seek Roxxor.
{Alemate moves toward the door with the thought of her late meeting with the imposing man in her mind, she smiles in anticipation of the evening revealing two needle sharp fangs reflecting in the candlelight.}
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Can't wait for the next episode 
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Originally Posted by Youkai-Slayer
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Re: The Dweeb and Roxxor Show
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