Thread: So i heard you can get married?

I heard you can get married to another toon in game?

is that true?
and if so, how might one do this? because i play a female elf and my friend plays a male elf, would it be possible to get married lol?

not through any in game mechanics.

but sure..if ya want to via roleplaying.

back in the days before lotro launched....marriage was gonna be allowed but the hoop-la was such that Turbine decided the best and safest course was to just not allow it.

the issue basically was with folks who wanted to do marriages that would go against the lore as set by the IP holders and by folks who insisted on forcing modern ideals onto a game setting where such things were never intended to exist.

so again...while there are no gameplay mechanics fro such a thing...fell free to roleplay it however you wish.

there are some very fine and pretty dresses in game that would more then be suitable for the occasion

There is no official Marriage title or ceremony that Turbine endorses. There was talk of implementing the "wife/husband of" Titles as far back as 2006, but no such titles were ever created.

This does not mean that if you wish to marry another player you are out of luck. You just have to do it in a different way.

If you are not a Roleplayer and just wish to play as a married couple, all you have to do is agree on a common surname and then both visit the Notary npc and change your last names to that.

If you are Roleplayers and wish to do it In Character, then you can go as small as just having a private bonding between the two of you to as large as a full-scale wedding with witnesses and a reception afterwards.

If you want to go the grand scale route, you will need to have a friend that can officiate as the person that will marry the two of you. Sort of a stand in for the Minister that is used in Real Life.

Either way is fine, and since it does not break the EULA or the TOS of the Game, Turbine is fine with this.

I personally have been to both a private ceremony and a full-scale wedding with more than 50 in attendance. All you really have to decide is how large you want to go with the actual ceremony.

The resulting marriage is for you to deal with on a daily basis....

Originally Posted by Mymir

There is no official Marriage title or ceremony that Turbine endorses. There was talk of implementing the "wife/husband of" Titles as far back as 2006, but no such titles were ever created.

It's been...oh...3 years since I looked at it...but can't you do something like that in the family tree panel? I know you can have parent/child relationships...

Originally Posted by Arbalister

It's been...oh...3 years since I looked at it...but can't you do something like that in the family tree panel? I know you can have parent/child relationships...

You can only have 1 parent. Everyone in Middle-earth has a broken up family raised by a single parent.

Originally Posted by CoranisDoJ

You can only have 1 parent. Everyone in Middle-earth has a broken up family raised by a single parent.

I blame the Elves. :-p

Originally Posted by CoranisDoJ

You can only have 1 parent. Everyone in Middle-earth has a broken up family raised by a single parent.

No large families. Maximum of two children. All children are adopted. They can decide they do not want to be your child anymore. You can disown them at any time. There is a small fee - 10? silver to break the adoption.

Ok thanks for clearing things up for me.

this sounds like fun, even though my friend does not have a roleplaying name(Awesomnesese) i think it will work xD

Parent/child relationships are fairly simple. Turbine made the smart PR move to sidestep the whole same-sex union debate by not offering a marriage option.

My RL wife and I have the same surname on mains, about as close as you can get. It's funny how many players do notice and ask. If you need a minstrel to play your celebration hit me up, I'm always for hire

You could always get married in rl. I mean, if you're not really in love why fake it in a videogame? I don't understand people. That will be my epitaph except they'll have to swap 'don't' for 'didn't'.

Originally Posted by SacredChandelier

You could always get married in rl. I mean, if you're not really in love why fake it in a videogame? I don't understand people. That will be my epitaph except they'll have to swap 'don't' for 'didn't'.

It's cheaper in-game. Think about the thousands of dollars you can save!

Originally Posted by SacredChandelier

You could always get married in rl. I mean, if you're not really in love why fake it in a videogame? I don't understand people. That will be my epitaph except they'll have to swap 'don't' for 'didn't'.

Because in Real Life it's cheaper to keep'em instead of leav'em!

In a video game, you just say ADIOS!

Originally Posted by Arbalister

I blame the Elves. :-p

please...everyone knows the dorfs put the elphs up to it.

The truth of the matter is that is elves executed our plan perfectly. Any one that digs finds the dirt us elves put in about how were duped and paid by the dwarves to do it.

It think one of the problems was dwarves, if they only allowed M/F weddings dwarves could not get married since all are considered male. There would also be some states and countries that the game would be considered discriminatory, and if the allowed some same-gender marriage, then the lore would be very stretched and would have people offended as well. So Turbine wisely just dropped the entire subject.

BTW. good luck getting an official statement

Here we go again.

The game devs made it where you can't for two reasons:

1: They would have to include gay marriage, and if they didn't, then you would get a bunch of flak from people who like other people like that, but from what i read, there wasn't much (if any) mentioning of homosexuality in the lore of Lord of the Rings, and the devs said that if it messes with the lore, they couldn't add it, or something like that.

Which leads us to reason number 2: Interracial marriage. I know it sounds silly (the idea of not allowing it), but if they did add marriage, they would make it where some people couldn't marry people from other races because of the lore. This (would) also outrage people.

So, no, you can't through any mechanics. If it's for roleplaying purposes you want to get married, you (I think or atleast read) can have the same surname as someone else, or atleast that's what someone said, but I'm not sure. You can also use your imagination. If it's someone you love that you want to get married to, then why don't you do it in real life?


You can google this, btw.

But wouldnt people be outraged that you cant get married in the first place, I understand where its coming from but im just saying.

Originally Posted by Wolfscreed93

But wouldnt people be outraged that you cant get married in the first place, I understand where its coming from but im just saying.

Not really, if you look deeply enough into Tolkien lore, you will see that "marriage" was not the officially sanctioned event that we tend to believe. Look at hobbits, their genealogies are loaded with "marriages" but nothing indicates anywhere that there was some form of official ceremony involved (as opposed to a large private party/event). There were really only two officials (three if you count the Master of the Hall) in the Shire, the Mayor and the Thain. It seems unlikely that either spent their time running all over conducting wedding ceremonies. In most of the Silmarillion, the implication is that the two partners fell in love and lived (un)happily ever after. In the Unfinished Tales, in the section on Galadriel and Celeborn, it seems fairly clear that they lived together and then separated and then came back together over a period of hundreds of years. We think of them as "married" but it seems to have been a personal union only.

Tolkien specifically referenced that he did not want a hierarchical religious establishment in Middle earth and, I believe, this is the reason marriage is glossed over and appears to be primarily a personal union.

I will add that I think it was a very smart move for Turbine not to include an official marriage in-game for this very reason. I do not believe the lore is sufficiently clear to justify it.

Originally Posted by Silchas

I will add that I think it was a very smart move for Turbine not to include an official marriage in-game for this very reason. I do not believe the lore is sufficiently clear to justify it.

That's a stretch. There are literally dozens of references to "married", "marriage", "wedded", and "wedding" in The Lord of the Rings. What's missing is any description of the actual process of getting married, but that doesn't mean there wasn't one - or various ones, according to racial traditions. Turbine pretty much lives and breathes in the spaces left in the texts, and they could fill in here if they wished. However, I agree it's probably best to just leave this be in LOTRO, given the passions involved whenever this topic comes up.

Speaking of which... why are we posting in a thread that faded away over 10 months ago? Celestrata usually closes these (and undoubtedly will again, should someone decide to use this one as a soap box).

Khafar

As others have said - Turbine bowed to PC dogma and thus the majority went without a feature to pander to a (possible) tiny vocal minority.

I don't know the post was at the top of the list this morning.

I agree on the use of the term, Khafar, and I never said that the term wasn't used. I think that the concept of people going to a justice of the peace or some other official is missing however and I believe that may be intentional. To paraphrase someone we all know, I don't think what we mean as "married" is what they mean as "married". This will be my last post on this issue.

Turbine made the far better of two horrible choices.

Originally Posted by Beleg-Of-Doriath

As others have said - Turbine bowed to PC dogma and thus the majority went without a feature to pander to a (possible) tiny vocal minority.

i wouldnt call it that way

marriage WAS in lotro.

but the uproar in game and on the forums was so bad they wisely removed it before the game went live.

and yes this thread needs to be closed.

Originally Posted by megaboy

i wouldnt call it that way

marriage WAS in lotro.

Hmm I thought it didn't make it past the 'just an idea' stage?

Originally Posted by megaboy

but the uproar in game and on the forums was so bad they wisely removed it before the game went live.

Are you serious? There was uproar on this forum because they added marriage to the game?

Originally Posted by Beleg-Of-Doriath

Are you serious? There was uproar on this forum because they added marriage to the game?

Yes, because there's a rather huge, passionate split on the matter of whether to allow same-sex marriage. It turns into a political and religious food fight, every time, and they're saving themselves a ton of hassle by simply avoiding the issue. If people want to get "married", they can do their own ceremonies, choose a common surname, etc. Good enough.

If that whole discussion opens up again in this thread, it too will be Closed. In fact, it's almost inevitable (based on past history).

Khafar

Originally Posted by Khafar

Yes, because there's a rather huge, passionate split on the matter of whether to allow same-sex marriage. It turns into a political and religious food fight, every time, and they're saving themselves a ton of hassle by simply avoiding the issue. If people want to get "married", they can do their own ceremonies, choose a common surname, etc. Good enough.

Surely the most logical approach is to fit the theme of marriage within the setting? Thus real-life doesn't enter the equation?

My friend proposed to his fiancé via RIFT. He got Trion in on the whole thing and they made a server-wide event out of it. Was rather interesting. Not what I would have wanted, personally, but she said yes. Lol.

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzDX6K2sjkI

I got proposed to over a plate of crab. Yum.

The reason I posting for marriages is because my sweet angel fiance and I love lotr, we play lotro together and we wanted to get married on the game but since the bypass of marriages we are nothing but a couple of players stood around throwing kisses at each other. I looked foward to having a title Husband of....

Originally Posted by Beleg-Of-Doriath

Surely the most logical approach is to fit the theme of marriage within the setting? Thus real-life doesn't enter the equation?

well thats was the original idea but, there are always those who like to push real life situations into a fantasy.....

take for example the whole ridable goats cant exist in middle earth threads ( the reasoning being that since goat like animals large enough to be ridden supposedly do not exist in modern europe then they cannot exist in ME )

if folks left modern day issues out of games ( ALL games ) things would be much better.

alas though folks cannot resist foisting their ideals upon fictional worlds.

Originally Posted by Wolfscreed93

The reason I posting for marriages is because my sweet angel fiance and I love lotr, we play lotro together and we wanted to get married on the game but since the bypass of marriages we are nothing but a couple of players stood around throwing kisses at each other. I looked forward to having a title Husband of....

Respectfully, without any insincerity intended, we don't have a tittle above our heads in real life. You could argue that married couples have rings indicating that they are married, then again, not all wedding bands appear to be as such.

Tittles can also lead to uncomfortable situations when one has to explain to players they knew a long time why their wife or husband is now the wife/husband of another character due to the fact that they were a game couple and now they are no more.

In my experience with online gaming over the years in games that even sanctioned such unions, the best indicator for a couple was sharing some unique last name that they selected together and used for all their characters. People would tend to ask about the last name and then they disclosed their status.

Titles are also a nice way of presenting one's character in the game and not every husband/wife desires to carry a title of their bonding. Not having the husband/wife title is also a polite way of not having to explain that in the fantasy world, they rather be "Buffy, Vanquisher of the Dead" instead of "Buffy, wife of Dufus". Not to mention that in games, just like in real life, sometimes one slips off the "One Ring to Rule Them".

Originally Posted by Zarador

Respectfully, without any insincerity intended, we don't have a tittle above our heads in real life. You could argue that married couples have rings indicating that they are married, then again, not all wedding bands appear to be as such.

Tittles can also lead to uncomfortable situations when one has to explain to players they knew a long time why their wife or husband is now the wife/husband of another character due to the fact that they were a game couple and now they are no more.

In my experience with online gaming over the years in games that even sanctioned such unions, the best indicator for a couple was sharing some unique last name that they selected together and used for all their characters. People would tend to ask about the last name and then they disclosed their status.

Titles are also a nice way of presenting one's character in the game and not every husband/wife desires to carry a title of their bonding. Not having the husband/wife title is also a polite way of not having to explain that in the fantasy world, they rather be "Buffy, Vanquisher of the Dead" instead of "Buffy, wife of Dufus". Not to mention that in games, just like in real life, sometimes one slips off the "One Ring to Rule Them".

I suppose you are right, We will take up a unique last name. Its strange considering there wernt really last names in ME, you here Aragorn but thats it. no other name is followed. Thanks for the idea though.

Originally Posted by Beleg-Of-Doriath

Surely the most logical approach is to fit the theme of marriage within the setting? Thus real-life doesn't enter the equation?

Agreed, but since when are the general gaming public "logical"? Trust me, they took to just Closing these threads whenever they came up (and ultimately decided to avoid this particular issue inside the game) because people simply cannot leave the issue alone.

Khafar

Originally Posted by Wolfscreed93

I suppose you are right, We will take up a unique last name. Its strange considering there wernt really last names in ME, you here Aragorn but thats it. no other name is followed. Thanks for the idea though.

i beg to differ.

pretty much all men/hobbits and even lowly dorfs used surnames of one sort or another.

Originally Posted by Beleg-Of-Doriath

Surely the most logical approach is to fit the theme of marriage within the setting? Thus real-life doesn't enter the equation?

Since when are people logical, especially about an emotional subject?

Turbine does not forbid marriage, it just does not provide any in-game mechanics to encourage it. Players are free to role-play any event they choose, I think this was by far the better approach with all the infinite variations of wedding ceremonies/traditions there are, someone would have felt left out if they had picked one or two.

Remember to be careful not to break the CoC when role-playing that nasty divorce though.