Thread: big D, small d

Back in the year-after-beta, these forums used to be filled with people who really knew how to create drama - epic threads filled with sturm und drang, small threads brimming over with sad or ecstatic emotions, titan arguments and brilliant points as sharp as the shards of Narsil.... Drama with a big "D" worthy of the aeons-long cat-fight between those drama queen brothers Melkor Morgoth and Manwe (which started when Manwe stole Elbereth from Melkor during the climax of the Music of the Ainur - or so some on these forums once claimed).

Call that "the First Age". These days, these forums are most definitely in the Fourth Age, a shrunken time of drama with a small "d" ("Turbine%*&@! You've lost a customer!!1!!1") - the ascendancy of Man and his petty squabbles over vault space, customer service, or pet-pathing.

Even the Valar have been diminished by this turn of affairs - poor Orome, once Manwe's own huntsman, now gone "wild" and apparently banished to the Mournshaws in Enedwaith where he hangs with a handful of nubile Maia wenches giving out a few dribbling quests to mortal passers-by ("Go forth and chase a chicken between some stones....")

I grieve for Middle Earth. Never mind Helm's Deep, or the Fields of Pelannor - Sauron has won the culture wars.

Originally Posted by Khementari

Back in the year-after-beta, these forums used to be filled with people who really knew how to create drama - epic threads filled with sturm und drang, small threads brimming over with sad or ecstatic emotions, titan arguments and brilliant points as sharp as the shards of Narsil.... Drama with a big "D" worthy of the aeons-long cat-fight between those drama queen brothers Melkor Morgoth and Manwe (which started when Manwe stole Elbereth from Melkor during the climax of the Music of the Ainur - or so some on these forums once claimed).

Call that "the First Age". These days, these forums are most definitely in the Fourth Age, a shrunken time of drama with a small "d" ("Turbine%*&@! You've lost a customer!!1!!1") - the ascendancy of Man and his petty squabbles over vault space, customer service, or pet-pathing.

Even the Valar have been diminished by this turn of affairs - poor Orome, once Manwe's own huntsman, now gone "wild" and apparently banished to the Mournshaws in Enedwaith where he hangs with a handful of nubile Maia wenches giving out a few dribbling quests to mortal passers-by ("Go forth and chase a chicken between some stones....")

I grieve for Middle Earth. Never mind Helm's Deep, or the Fields of Pelannor - Sauron has won the culture wars.

What is this, I don't even.....

Originally Posted by dimant249

What is this, I don't even.....

I know, little mortal, and I sympathize. Those who inhabited these forums and the game during the First Age, or read the books (even - gasp - The Silmarillion) will understand. For the rest of you.... (shakes head)

Originally Posted by Khementari

I know, little mortal, and I sympathize. Those who inhabited these forums and the game during the First Age, or read the books (even - gasp - The Silmarillion) will understand. For the rest of you.... (shakes head)

*Looks at the ground pondering on the idea*

I was pretty shocked when I discovered "Orome" in Enedwaith as well.

I think most of the hardcore Tolkein geeks either don't play anymore or don't post on the forums as much anymore.

We're still here, although we be taking a break from the fight against poor grammar and spelling. Personally, I'm just hoping that The Store has a special offer on apostrophes in the the not too distant future.

I'm currently re reading The Hobbit and ring books and I have to confess when logging in and seeing things in game that are from the lore - it is making the game have a new (and much more fun) depth to it.

I am still not convinced it is Oromë. I think it is one of his Maiar, as he does refer to his "Masters in the West" (plural), IIRC...

I lul @ people who use LoTR analogies in their posts.

Xzim is clearly a person who didn't get enough hugs from a loving family as a youth...we feel sorry for you...really...hopefully you can find your way to some other forums to troll with your outstanding look on life and leave this one alone. (you will be missed greatly I'm sure)

Originally Posted by Khementari

Even the Valar have been diminished by this turn of affairs - poor Orome, once Manwe's own huntsman, now gone "wild" and apparently banished to the Mournshaws in Enedwaith where he hangs with a handful of nubile Maia wenches giving out a few dribbling quests to mortal passers-by ("Go forth and chase a chicken between some stones....")

Erm, the Huntsman is not Oromë. He is a servant thereof. If it were Oromë, we would have said so (the name appears in the body of LotR, so we can use it.)

Note that the Hunstman said something along the lines of, "...and my Lord in the Uttermost West", which I would most certainly assume would be Oromë, given the characteristics of this Huntsman guy.

Originally Posted by Khementari

Even the Valar have been diminished by this turn of affairs - poor Orome, once Manwe's own huntsman, now gone "wild" and apparently banished to the Mournshaws in Enedwaith where he hangs with a handful of nubile Maia wenches ......

Um, Poor Orome... How do I get that job, and is there ale involved?

Originally Posted by WarDad71

Xzim is clearly a person who didn't get enough hugs from a loving family as a youth...we feel sorry for you...really...hopefully you can find your way to some other forums to troll with your outstanding look on life and leave this one alone. (you will be missed greatly I'm sure)

Just be advised, if you are missed, there will be some that will reload... <Big Grin>

Originally Posted by Berephon

Erm, the Huntsman is not Oromë. He is a servant thereof. If it were Oromë, we would have said so (the name appears in the body of LotR, so we can use it.)

I stand corrected. An agent of Orome, then - proving that Orome has not yet lost his passion for Middle Earth (where he often hunted in the First Age), nor his independent nature - having his own servant aiding the West in the War of the Ring is a interesting exception to the "Istari-only policy" of the Valar.

Ulmo is another Vala who often intervened in the affairs of Middle Earth. I'll be looking for some variation of Osse, his Maia servant, in the lower Anduin or along the coastline of Gondor....

Originally Posted by Berephon

Erm, the Huntsman is not Oromë. He is a servant thereof. If it were Oromë, we would have said so (the name appears in the body of LotR, so we can use it.)

Bummer. I was thinking that perhaps it was. Way to smash my geek dream.

Originally Posted by Khementari

Back in the year-after-beta, these forums used to be filled with people who really knew how to create drama - epic threads filled with sturm und drang, small threads brimming over with sad or ecstatic emotions, titan arguments and brilliant points as sharp as the shards of Narsil.... Drama with a big "D" worthy of the aeons-long cat-fight between those drama queen brothers Melkor Morgoth and Manwe

I thought for sure you were going to mention another set of brothers, Vilyans may know of whom I speak. The drama was epic, and one has indeed been exiled from Middle Earth for eternity.

loved the idea about Ulmo, I'd love a session play about the fall of gondolin

how about a session play with beren and Luithien!

(nerdgasm)

After reading this letter, you will never again be able to trust Khementari and you will see with crystal clarity the way that there are deeper issues afoot here. Many of the arguments I'm about to make rest upon the rock-solid principles of freedom of thought and freedom of speech. If it weren't for these freedoms, I wouldn't be allowed to tell you that he is guided by the ignis fatuus of tribalism. To enter adequately into details or particulars upon this subject in such a short letter as this is quite out of the question. Hence, I will only remark here, in a general way but with all the emphasis of earnestness and truth, that if anything will free us from the shackles of Khementari's hypocritical, frightful actions, it's knowledge of the world as it really is. It's knowledge that whenever I hear someone say that his impractical gestapo is a respected civil-rights organization, my upper lip develops an involuntary curl. Regular readers of my letters probably take that for granted, but if I am to serve on the side of Truth, I must explain to the population at large that if we contradict him, we are labelled superstitious converts to authoritarianism. If we capitulate, however, we forfeit our freedoms.

What I want to document now is that Khementari would not hesitate to promote the sort of behavior that would have made the folks in Sodom and Gomorrah blush if he felt he could benefit from doing so. His salacious effusions can be quite educational. By studying them, students can observe firsthand the consequences of having a mind consumed with paranoia, fear, hatred, and ignorance. Khementari wants to control every aspect of our lives. He wants us to rise, fall asleep, work, and live at the beat of a drum. Then, once we're molded into a uniform mass, we'll be incapable of seeing that Khementari has worn out his welcome. Am I being too harsh for writing that? Maybe I am, but that's really the only way you can push a point through to Khementari.

If the only way to reach out to the poor, the marginalized, and those unfortunate enough to have been labeled as corrupt by Khementari's propaganda machine is for me to shake in my boots from fear, then so be it. It would indisputably be worth it because you may be wondering why grotty bribe-seekers latch onto his sophistries. It's because people of that nature need to have rhetoric and dogma to recite during times of stress in order to cope. That's also why Khementari's uncompanionable tricks are in full flower, and their poisonous petals of misoneism are blooming all around us.

All Khementari really wants is to hang onto the perks he's getting from the system. That's all he really cares about. There's no mystery about it, no more room for fairy tales, just the knowledge that I do not propose a supernatural solution to the problems we're having with him. Instead, I propose a practical, realistic, down-to-earth approach that requires only that I take steps against the whole apolaustic, bloody-minded brotherhood of prodigal uneducated-types. Khementari should hide his head in shame before the judgment of future generations, whose tongue it will no longer be possible to stop and which, therefore, will say what today all of us know to be true: Khementari sometimes has trouble convincing people that arriving at a true state of comprehension is too difficult and/or time-consuming. When he has such trouble, he usually trots out a few prissy wackos to constate authoritatively that Khementari defends the real needs of the working class. Whether or not that trick of his works, it's still the case that my long-term goal is to rise to the challenge of thwarting Khementari's tendentious plans. Unfortunately, much remains to be done. As you may have noticed, I love hearing the claims of a crapulous grifter who doesn't realize that he's a crapulous grifter. As a case in point, consider Khementari's claim that drug money is being used to pay for the construction of huge underground cities intended to house both humans and aliens who serve a secret, transnational shadow government. Such claims always make me laugh because, as we all know, Khementari is good at stirring his winged monkeys into a frenzied lunacy of hatred and vengeance. Doing so blinds them to the fact that we must guide the world into an age of peace, justice, and solidarity. This call to action begins with you. You must be the first to find the common ground that enables others to help young people develop the ability to make informed and reasoned decisions for the public good as citizens of a culturally diverse, democratic society in an interdependent world. You must be the one to champion the poor and oppressed against the evil of Khementari. And you must inform your fellow man that Khementari weeps crocodile tears for those who suffer as a result of his projects. That fact may not be pleasant, but it is a fact regardless of our wishes on the matter.

If we don't remove the Khementari threat now, it will bite us in our backside within a short period of time. Now here is something that will stun and very likely outrage many who read this: He wants to rid the world of "defective" people. If you don't believe me then consider that Khementari is a hard worker. He works hard to prevent anyone from commenting on his besotted histrionics. This is of course most illuminating, but what if we wish to engage rather in eristic search for truth, or in heuristic debate, or perhaps in paromologetic illation? In my experience, you, of course, now need some hard evidence that Khementari's grunts are the ignorant party animals of the modern age. Well, how about this for evidence: I've tried explaining to his cheerleaders that as soon as his co-conspirators base racial definitions on lineage, phrenological characteristics, skin hue, and religion, they will have destroyed the basis for their own existence. Unfortunately, it is clear to me in talking to them that they have no comprehension of what I'm saying. I might as well be talking to creatures from Mars. In fact, I'd bet Martians would be more likely to discern that Khementari maintains that ethical responsibility is merely a trammel of earthbound mortals and should not be required of a demigod like him. Perhaps it would be best for him to awaken from his delusional, narcoleptic fantasyland and observe that he has been telling people that hooliganism brings one closer to nirvana. This story has been uncritically swallowed and regurgitated by many half-informed, foul-mouthed nudniks who find pleasure in believing it. No, I can't explain it either. However, I can say that if a cogent, logical argument entered Khementari's brain, no doubt a concussion would result. Now that this letter is over, I pray that my logic and passion have convinced you that there's a two-faced potlicker born every minute.

This thread makes me weep, with joy. Just when the darkness closes in, when I can no longer remember the taste of strawberries, this happens. May Eru protect us from the unclean, and may he bless you all who remember the music.

Originally Posted by mjk47

I'm just hoping that The Store has a special offer on apostrophes in the the not too distant future.

You have made my day!

Originally Posted by newwwwb

.............

If this isn't some randomly generated text then I applaud you.

Originally Posted by jedinatt

If this isn't some randomly generated text then I applaud you.

Plugging sentences 2 and 3 into google yields 44 results in 44 different forums - sorry, for a moment I thought it was "for real", too, and I was all set to endorse it.

The fact is that Khementari is a cad and scumball, and a woman, besides. I'm sure that if she was banned, all the undesirable elements on these forums and in-game would disappear in a puff of foul-smelling smoke....

I haven't done the huntsman chain yet (sad day)
but I cracked my jaw on the tile when I found out who the Mad Dwarf was after listening to some of his ramblings. . . poor guy <3