Thread: Words and Phrases No Longer Allowed in This Thread

Originally Posted by Drakojan

2000th post!!!!! YEAHYUH!!!! I'm superior to you non-2000th post nubs.

GOD DAMN IT DRAKOJAN

Anyway, I hereby name myself Onir Von Schömmerstein, Duke of this thread.

Originally Posted by Onir

GOD DAMN IT DRAKOJAN

Anyway, I hereby name myself Onir Von Schömmerstein, Duke of this thread.

You mad bro?
/sings DONT BE ANGRYYYY DONT ME MAAADDDD YOU ARE SMELLLLYYYYY YOU ARE BAAAAADDDD
I order you all to address me as "The Amazing Dark Lord."
P.S. Yeah, I rhymed. What you goin do about it? IM A POET AND I KNOW IT.
WORD!
Edit: This thread kills me. Too much funny... Too much stoopid...

Noone post after me please, the post number is Hex's birthyear and I think it would make him happy to get the post.
Thanks!!

Bad dog.
Or cat.

I don't know. Or do I? Doesn't matter. It all smells the same to me.

Originally Posted by bigsix66

Do you think we can persuade sir-r to whip up another cake for the 2,000th post in this thread? If I recall, his 1,000th-post cake didn't last long.

Worth a shot! Put the gun down, let me rephrase: Worth a try!

Sir, come out come out wherever you whip.

Nothing lasts long around here. Except for the verbiage.

And the beyond. It's eternal and as such we have become eternal. Here we are, born to be kings, we're the princes of infinity. We've come to be the rulers of the one!

Holy Crash Cart. What is going on in my thread? People giving themselves titles and reserving spots and baking of all things cake???

I'm starting to enjoy this.

Originally Posted by Rouven

Here we are, born to be kings, we're the princes of infinity. We've come to be the rulers of the one!

I just want to be prince of the one infinite cake.

Originally Posted by hex2323

baking of all things cake???

I'm starting to enjoy this.

Hmmmm. I think we've solved the mystery of what happened to the 2,000th-post cake. Stop taunting us and wipe that frosting off your beard!

*grabs a can of whip cream and takes off with mischievous intent.*

Originally Posted by stserjtsrj

*grabs a can of whip cream and takes off with mischievous intent.*

NONE SHALL ESCAPE THE RULERS OF THE ONE!tm

Originally Posted by stserjtsrj

*grabs a can of whip cream and takes off with mischievous intent.*

W-Hip Cream? Give that back! It's not the dessert topping, it's the salve for my Wounded Hip! Oh no... oh... he's eaten it... oh dear. Call an ambulance. That stuff is made of BEES!!!

Originally Posted by hex2323

W-Hip Cream? Give that back! It's not the dessert topping, it's the salve for my Wounded Hip! Oh no... oh... he's eaten it... oh dear. Call an ambulance. That stuff is made of BEES!!!

B-B-B-B-B-B-B Cream? I don't think I'm familiar with that. A new dessert product?

Greetings - I don't suppose any of you have seen an army of lobster-men wandering around have you? I misplaced them. Just so you don't mix them up with any other crustacean military force that may or may not have gotten loose, they were wielding trumpets.

Originally Posted by Armaius

Greetings - I don't suppose any of you have seen an army of lobster-men wandering around have you? I misplaced them. Just so you don't mix them up with any other crustacean military force that may or may not have gotten loose, they were wielding trumpets.

Howdy. We've seen several such armies marching through here recently. I think Rou was hosting a battalion of them in his room. Very crowded in there. Wise to stay away.

The lobster army that I saw were carrying fifes and drums, but I suppose it's possible they've switched out their instruments since you lost them. The lobster-men in question were blue, and their tails looked delicious. Dibs!

Originally Posted by bigsix66

Howdy. We've seen several such armies marching through here recently. I think Rou was hosting a battalion of them in his room. Very crowded in there. Wise to stay away.

The lobster army that I saw were carrying fifes and drums, but I suppose it's possible they've switched out their instruments since you lost them. The lobster-men in question were blue, and their tails looked delicious. Dibs!

Fifes and drums you say? This sounds like the work of my arch-nemesis Suiamra! I smell conspiracy. (it smells like furniture polish.)

I will go and investigate this Rou person. I need that army for um...a project that is not related to world domination in any way! *heads into another part of the thread*

Dear Armaius

with deepest regrets I have to inform thy, that said army of 10" tall crusthaicions who indeed lodged in my humble threequarters, miracuously transformed into thai crab cakes. I stayed strong for about 10 seconds but could no longer resist. Please see attached letters from each to their family. I trust you will know what to do with them.

Kind Regiments,
Rouven

Huh. I'm not sure where they found time to pick up families, considering they were all clones but nonetheless...*takes letters*

I don't suppose you have any crab cakes left? We can eat them whilst playing music on these fifes and drums.

Bigsix, how long did the 1000th cake last again? Anyways, sorry. The spontaneous self-baking happened already yesterday and sir was there too. Couple of thousand little cakes don't last long. But do tell, would you not have a spare army in the backhand in order to not take over the world?

Originally Posted by Rouven

But do tell, would you not have a spare army in the backhand in order to not take over the world?

Well, I do have some angry velociraptors I've been training. I'm still trying to convince them to wear the silly hats, though.

I think I might be able to help with the cake problem too...*uses weather machine and causes a gentle shower of Twinkies and Ding-Dongs on the thread*

Originally Posted by Rouven

Bigsix, how long did the 1000th cake last again? Anyways, sorry. The spontaneous self-baking happened already yesterday and sir was there too. Couple of thousand little cakes don't last long. But do tell, would you not have a spare army in the backhand in order to not take over the world?

The 1000th cake lasted 1.78 seconds. If you can believe sir-r's stopwatch.

How did you convert lobster men into crab cakes? Are you dabbling in alchemy?

Originally Posted by Armaius

I think I might be able to help with the cake problem too...*uses weather machine and causes a gentle shower of Twinkies and Ding-Dongs on the thread*

Sweet! Second breakfasts for all.

And so it was the unholy army of crab-men, created by the evil sorcerer Armaius, was defeated by the courage and appetite of Rouven.

I hereby name thee Rouven, Crab-bane!


Also, crab-men? That's ridicilous. My army consisting purely of undead bakers shall be your undoing! WHO'S THE BESTEST SORCERER NOW!?

Originally Posted by Onir

And so it was the unholy army of crab-men, created by the evil sorcerer Armaius, was defeated by the courage and appetite of Rouven.

I hereby name thee Rouven, Crab-bane!


Also, crab-men? That's ridicilous. My army consisting purely of undead bakers shall be your undoing! WHO'S THE BESTEST SORCERER NOW!?

Undead bakers! This is the old nightmare returning to haunt me!

I shall have to deploy my other secret weapon...ostriches! With twirly mustaches! This is the undead baker's greatest fear!

Originally Posted by Armaius

Undead bakers! This is the old nightmare returning to haunt me!

I shall have to deploy my other secret weapon...ostriches! With twirly mustaches! This is the undead baker's greatest fear!

Mustaches, the depraved cousins of beards, WE MEET AGAIN!

Originally Posted by Onir

Mustaches, the depraved cousins of beards, WE MEET AGAIN!

The gentler and more civilized cousin, I think you mean!

Though they do bite so watch out.

Originally Posted by Armaius

The gentler and more civilized cousin, I think you mean!

Though they do bite so watch out.

WHAT!? I'll kill you for that!

Or eat all your cakes.
YEAH, I'M GOING TO EAT YOUR CAKES, WHILE KICKING YOUR OSTRICHES AND KILLING YOU!

Originally Posted by Onir

WHAT!? I'll kill you for that!

Or eat all your cakes.
YEAH, I'M GOING TO EAT YOUR CAKES, WHILE KICKING YOUR OSTRICHES AND KILLING YOU!

Kicking ostriches? You monster! . Oh...right. You threatened my life. Um...look a piano! *skips away*

Also: its still raining snack cakes and my weather machine seems to have broken. I suspect the thread will be suffering from a flash flood of delicious Hostess treats before long.

Anyone opposed to granting Armaius the Mayorship of Past Posts, due to his knowledge of lobsters?

Originally Posted by hex2323

Anyone opposed to granting Armaius the Mayorship of Past Posts, due to his knowledge of lobsters?

I nominate Armaius for Lobster King of this thread. And Crustacean Music Director. All in favor, raise a claw.

I humbly accept both nominations. Those past posts need desperately a leader to rally behind. And this thread was sorely lacking in the lobster monarch department. Also: a choir of crayfish.

Welcome Mutant Lobster Master! Just you be careful not step on the KINGS crawfish, if you catch my drift. Otherwise you might get some stern creole talking to directly from the beyond.

Now if I might be excused. In the event of recent lights I will have to experiment my push's further stressing limits in order to be prepared for what might lies ahead. But do not be alarmed, my cockroach controlled robot unit is purely designed for defensive purposes and those lasers could never, ever cut through anything thicker than 10' of durasteel.

*Hides behind 11' of durasteel and rolls a bug bomb under the robot.* That's for smoking all my sweetweed for freaking little cockroaches.

We need more zany antics. *sends in tapdancing shrimp*

Originally Posted by Armaius

We need more zany antics. *sends in tapdancing shrimp*

Zany.
Antics.
Zantacs?

Heart burns for ya!

Originally Posted by hex2323

Zany.
Antics.
Zantacs?

Heart burns for ya!

D: I knew I shouldn't have eaten that spicy Cajun food last night. Where's the Tums?

Originally Posted by Armaius

We need more zany antics. *sends in tapdancing shrimp*

Now wait a minute. My hobbits object to such a pejorative term. They refuse to tapdance for you until you refer to them as "vertically challenged."

Originally Posted by bigsix66

Now wait a minute. My hobbits object to such a pejorative term. They refuse to tapdance for you until you refer to them as "vertically challenged."

Very well. *claps hands twice* Vertically challenged folk! Amuse us!

FOOOOOLS!
WHILE YOU DISCUSSED LOBSTERS AND DANCING SHRIMPS AND VERTICALLY CHALLENGED HOBBIT LOBSTER SHRIMP AND SO ON I STUDIED BLACK MAGICKS!

I WILL NO LONGER BE KNOWN AS ONIR SCHÖMMERSTEIN, BUT ONIR, THE SORCERER KING OF HELM'S DEEPER!
OOOOH YES, I STILL REMEMBER HELM'S DEEPER!
NEVER FORGET!
Never forget...

I WILL NOW UNLEASH UPON YOU THE ULTIMATE HORROR!

TAPDANCING UNDEAD LOBSTER BAKERS WIELDING FROZEN BEAVERS!

Originally Posted by Onir

TAPDANCING UNDEAD LOBSTER BAKERS WIELDING FROZEN BEAVERS!

I think the bakers also accidentally froze your caps lock key. With great power comes great responsibility. I'd get that spell checked out asap.

Speaking of--does spell checker work on that sort of thing, too?

Originally Posted by bigsix66

I think the bakers also accidentally froze your caps lock key. With great power comes great responsibility. I'd get that spell checked out asap.

Speaking of--does spell checker work on that sort of thing, too?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

(Seriously though, my caps-lock really DOES freeze sometimes.)

As the Lobster Monarch, I feel some sort of responsibility for Onir going mad with power. Oh, well.

*eats a peanut*

Originally Posted by Armaius

As the Lobster Monarch, I feel some sort of responsibility for Onir going mad with power. Oh, well.

*eats a peanut*

The rampage is now complete. Let the Picnic of Ruin commence!