Thread: Rune-Keepers Are For Real, Part 17 - Fellowship Maneuvers

First off, I love my Kin: The Meaning of Haste. It is full of Awesome. Nonetheless, I want to give a shout out to another great kin that I recently met: Upon The Edge. The people at UTE were funny, very cool and, most of all, had mad skillz. We took DN by storm and it was gloriously fun. I hope to see more of UTE during my time in Middle-Earth.

Since this rant is dedicated to UTE, I thought I would touch upon a subject that is not so RK-centric in nature. Something, my friend Vaxx brought up a while ago: Fellowship Maneuvers (“FM”).

Ahhh, Fellowship Maneuvers. We have all encountered them in our battles against the forces of darkness. And, under normal circumstances, when there are 6 of you and 1 bad guy to focus on, you do not have to be John Connor (esteemed Leader of the Human Resistance) to organize a beat down on that fool when he becomes dazed. However, if you do happen to be John Connor, this is what you do: Perform a Fellowship Maneuver.

What is a Fellowship Maneuver? It is what happens when 6 people suddenly become the A-Team and bring holy heck down on some dazed creature in an orchestrated dance of death (where the bad guy is the dance floor).

First, comes the moment when someone gets in a lucky sucker punch/stab and yells open season on the hapless victim. It’s like the frakkin’ Bat-signal because everyone stops what they are doing and literally pounces on the dude. In this case, there is one criminal and six Batmans who suddenly realize that he is the punk who shot his parents. Welcome to the fellowship maneuver.

Second, this is the crucial part, everyone performs one perfect attack with flawless accuracy and timing. It is this second part that separates a fellowship maneuver from simple mob violence. Any group of morons can beat up on an unconscious orc. But, only a fellowship maneuver can do that, cure your diseases, get you healed, refill your power AND RAISE THE DEAD TO HELP YOU! Let’s see a crazy mob do THAT!

“Wow, you have pitchforks and torches. But, look here, I HAVE A LEGION OF THE DEAD! AND MY POLIO IS CURED!!!!”

So, how do you execute a fellowship maneuver? Preparation.

Part 1. Decide on what you will do beforehand
Sounds simple, right? Yet, I cannot tell you how many times people forget to do this. You simply cannot expect awesomeness by a group of people without preparation; unless they are a lovely bunch of ladies who love Dwarves. That is simply awesome by definition.

People who do not prepare an FM and expect awesome are the same peeps that think High School the Musical is remotely real. Believe me, just like executing Wings of the Windlord on the fly, it is practically impossible for a bunch of high school kids to spontaneously burst into choreographed song and dance at the drop of a hat. You know those scenes where a dance or show unexpectedly erupts in a school cafeteria. Not real. I am serious. The only time a bunch of students do anything together in a cafeteria is clap when someone drops their tray. And, only half of the students do even that much together. I dare you to crank up the volume on your ghetto blaster, jump on table and pretend you are a runway model during lunch. By Thorin’s needly nose hair! You will see a fellowship maneuver alright. You will see it from the perspective of the victim as the lunch crowd Break the Door on your skull for stepping on their food.

So, please accept reality and plan ahead of time for the likely possibility that a Fellowship Maneuver will occur. Pick an FM, assign spots and wait for the Bat-signal. Perfect timing and coordination does not appear out of thin air. But, with enough practice, a couple of Noble Sprits will...

Part 2. LEARN SOME FRAKKIN’ FELLOWSHIP MANEUVERS

As many veterans have mused, things do not always go according to plan. However, this does not mean that everything is lost. With a skilled group, different fellowship maneuvers can be used if certain people are on the ball.

For instance, if everyone in your fellowship hits red and you are the sixth, DO NOT HIT RED. As any veteran will explain, a sixth red is nothing. You should hit any other color instead. See three greens? Start hitting blues to get Pure of Heart. Then, there are the perennial straight FMs. You would be surprised how often an FM starts looking like skittles but can end up force feeding the rainbow to your enemies. All it takes are people taking a sec to discern if a straight FM is possible. When I am in a pug and no FM is planned, I often hover over the color on the opposite side of the wheel from the first entry in the FM just in case a small straight is possible. Let me tell you, this works more often than you would think.

Strange FM Facts

With all that said, I figure I would spend a little time talking about my observations regarding FMs as well as some history. Is this information practical or useful? No. But then, nothing I say is meant to be of benefit to you so this should not come as no big shock.

1. I am often asked, why is G-G-G-B-B-B not an FM? Good question. The Five unique FM: Pure of Heart is the lynchpin of Middle Earth Healthcare. For the uninitiated, Middle-Earth Healthcare is literally comprised of one burglar, 4 dudes, the patient and an elite mob in a cage. The Burglar just pops a fellowship maneuver on the caged monster, the other four guys help out with Pure of Heart and the patient is saved. That is why there are only 5 slots for Pure of Heart and NO sixth Blue. The sixth is for the patient who is generally too messed up to contribute. On a side note, this affirms my contention that every hero is a medical professional in Middle Earth. That is why I ask all my fellowship members to refer to me as Dr. Teepster (or the Love Doctor if you will).

2. Flushes are FMs with everyone contributing the same color. The effectiveness of flushes stops at 4 contributions. You would think that more is better. However, research has found that there are diminishing returns when the same attack is performed. Yelling “Go for the eyes, Boo! Go for the eyes!” is a decent initial strategy. And, the first poke in the eye is horrendously painful and effective. However, the fifth has almost no effect. Why? The dude is now blind. What the heck ELSE are you going to do with the Orc’s eyes? There are only two. “But, I can stab the Orc’s puny brain by way of the eye socket,” is a common observation. However, I would point out that this is not the same attack then. There is a difference between stabbing someone’s eye and stabbing their brain. Seriously, it’s different.

3. All yellows with a cap of a different color is NOT an FM. I know, I know. It should be an FM. It feels like an FM. But, it is not an FM. It’s kind of funny, I still have people in fellowships that see 5 yellows and think something magic will happen if they hit blue. For the sake of those people, I think we need to start a petition to make this an FM. In fact, there are a slew of moves that I wish were FM’s. Anyone ever do the FMs with alternating colors (i.e. R-G-R-G-R-G)? I swear this should be an FM. In fact, I even have a name for it? Happy Holidays! I chose this name because the color scheme reminds me of Christmas lights. For me, this should be the FM that keeps on giving. In this case, what this FM gives is a crippling blow to the knees. Huzzah! Happy Kwanzaa, Orc!!!! All I can say is that Chill of Bone looks like a hot mess compared to the symmetry of “Happy Holidays.”

4. On a different subject, who names these fellowships? The names for these fellowship maneuvers have been passed down for generations and come from many different races. No one knows why certain names have stuck and others have not.

a. Tramp of Doom. The name comes from the race of men. Did I mention that the Race of Man are notorious for developing names that were born in the hallowed halls of Frat houses and seedy bars (i.e. Prancing Pony). The most prevalent story surrounding this name is that it was inspired by Hobos or really scandalous sorority girls. I don’t know. All I do know is that the original name was “Tramps of Doom.” The “S” was later dropped because people simply did not like calling themselves “Tramps,” let alone “Tramps of Doom” which made it sound like they were carriers of a social disease to boot. Then there was the additional problem that all the Men in the fellowship giggled endlessly when Elves shouted out for a Tramp of Doom. I don’t know. Personally, I like Tramps. They are easy to impress on first dates.

b. Whispering Leaves. Why does this devastating FM sound like a children’s book written by Arwen? The name is Elvish. Enough said. Personally, I think the Elves should go back to the North Pole and ask Santa for help on this one. Using nature themes in your FM names does not equal automatic fail. Hurricanes, Storms and Typhoons are part of nature. How about “Boot to the Head by way of the twig and berries?” That sounds both scary and nature’y.

c. Deadly Whispers. What the heck is a deadly whisper? Funny story. This name is actually a blend of Dwarvish and Elven. There is another FM called “Silent Glory.” They are very similar. Back in the day, Y-Y-B-B was actually called “Silent Whispers” by the elves and Y-Y-G-G was called “Deadly Glory” by the Dwarves. But, in an odd twist, the Dwarves just switched the names a bit since no one wanted to perform an FM called “Silent Whispers” with a bunch of feisty male elves. Thankfully, the names switch stuck and fellowship awkwardness was lowered dramatically.

d. Hail of Blows. Often mistaken for a different maneuver altogether that has nothing to do with battle. Surprise, Surprise…This name also comes from the race of Man. In fact, we should all be lucky. The race of Man originally had the words “of Tramps” at the end of this FM. I really do not know why the race of Men are so fixated on Tramps. Anyway, the title for this FM was also shortened because awkwardness in fellowships reached new heights with this one. Another good reason for dropping “of Tramps,” was that Men laughed even more uncontrollably each time someone asked for the FM with gusto.

Alright, I better stop. I just rambled for what felt like eternity on FMs. I don’t want to bore you with too much history. I believe that history should be taught in small manageable chunks (by saucy women).

So, until next time, Friendsters. Respect the RK and look for the Bat Signal.

Hugs and Kisses,

Teepster Runekeepster (a.k.a. Batman. Dr. Love or how about Dr. Batman the Lover of Tramps)

well done teepster, and thanks for the plug. Gotta say i really enjoyed our run with you and the other hasties. It was a blast, and we gotta do it again some time, though im not sure about the 5 est ending time, lol, which got me in a bit of hot water with the mrs. Anyways, excellent post and UTE will catch up with ya again.

And another +1 rep to Teepster. Excellent writing, dude!

Wonderful post! Now, what i want to know is, which are the fellowship maneuvers names that came down from Hobbits? I don't seem to recall any FMs called "Second Breakfast" or "After-dinner snack".....

My favorite FM...Leaves of Lothlorien Y-B-R-G-Y

From the wiki, this is its description~Swirling like the leaves of Lothlorien, your fellowship strikes from all sides, leaving wounds that slow while rallying and energizing all.

Really?! LEAVING WOUNDS?! I have to admit, I've traveled fairly extensively in Lothlorien and have yet to be WOUNDED by the falling foliage. Can you imagine the insurance rates Celeborn and Galadriel would be paying?! I think maybe this FM was overstated just a tad...

<3 to the Teepster for his continued guidance through the perils and hilarities of Middle Earth!

Thanks for the responses and the in-game tells from everyone.

Brunori: I must concur that it was a blast. You guys really know what you are doing. I am glad that someone from UTE saw my post. Please send my regards and respect to the rest of your kin.

Great healing btw. And, please understand, Vaxx was completely joking around. I hate to think that someone has the impression that RKs in Haste cannot heal. It is actually one of my minor missions in life to get the word out that RKs are awesome main healers. Nat and I are the primary RKs in Haste and we take healing pretty seriously. We each have main healed all the content in LOTRO excluding end-game raids. In fact, I wanted to mention that one of the things I really appreciated about UTE is that your kin really understands your healing abilities and has no reservations about putting you in the role of a main healer during the raid. This is not a knock against my own kin. We just happen to have many minstrels who fill that role and prefer that RKs DPS. But, I must admit that I am itching to try and main heal DN.

EVERYONE: Please understand my comments above. It is no different with Minstrels. An RK's ability to main heal is just as dependent on the skill of the group as it is on the skill of the RK. I have no doubt that Brun's success at healing in DN is also due in part to the abilities of UTE. And, believe me, like the Meaning of Haste, UTE has a lot of ability (i.e. Deathgranter [I think that is his name] is one heck of a Guard. I did not know you could put superglue on your shield. It is like those Mobs were in love or something. I was impressed that they never looked at anyone else considering the dps Odeon and the rest of us were unloading.).

Revoked: I will have to look into Hobbit FM's next time. I totally realized that I had no Hobbit FM names, but maybe that is, as you already pointed out, most Hobbit FMs are performed in the kitchen during food preparation.

Veri: Agreed. I too have never have never been assaulted by the Fall season. However, I must confess that I am a pretty lucky guy and probably just avoided the more dodgy forests of Middle-Earth by happenstance. I now look at Elves with a little more respect when I consider the bravery it must take to live among the trees. It must be like living in a war zone. A war zone of warm Autumn colors. Yeah, life must be hell in that lush arboretum of temperate Spring climes.

Lord Razor: Thank you, Sir! Rep for you as well, my good fellow.

Teepster

ROFL GREAT POST!!! I only wish I could give you more than +1 ....post like these are why I still come here and check them out.

Originally Posted by Veri

My favorite FM...Leaves of Lothlorien Y-B-R-G-Y

From the wiki, this is its description~Swirling like the leaves of Lothlorien, your fellowship strikes from all sides, leaving wounds that slow while rallying and energizing all.

Really?! LEAVING WOUNDS?! I have to admit, I've traveled fairly extensively in Lothlorien and have yet to be WOUNDED by the falling foliage. Can you imagine the insurance rates Celeborn and Galadriel would be paying?! I think maybe this FM was overstated just a tad...

I think it was supposed to be Leaves *in* Lothlorien.

After grinding rep for days to get past the ninja archers of doom (should that also be the name of an FM?), I finally walked the golden paths, watched the golden animals, and then suddenly had to step away from my keyboard. When I came back a few minutes later I found that I had been trampled by a Buck who, perhaps because he was not feeling very golden that day, gave me all sorts of wound effects. The moral of the story: anybody who leaves in Lothlorien will get squashed in roughly the same manner as somebody who leaves in any other land.



Another good story, teep.

>>>You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to teeptzu again<<<


.

What a coincidence. I got the same message Lilred. *sigh*

Best.
Post.
Ever.

Seriously, this is the single funniest thing I've read on these boards. +Rep and much props to you and your fellows!

First off, I want to thank Teepster and the rest of the Haste for going with us last week. You guys were amazing with skills and humor. Not only did we make DN look silly, you guys kept me laughing and having a great time. I also want to thank you for the shout out on my tanking. My guard is my main, so it meant a lot to get some recognition. As far as the superglue, it is sold seperatly at your nearest shield dealer. Normally they don't come stock, so you will need to ask for the option. Just remember, it isn't cheap so make sure you have good financing. Thanks again for the run and the shout out. My regards to Haste!!

Bumping to keep these together. The R-KAFR series is a classic like TSK's "Hate This Game".

Originally Posted by teeptzu

First, comes the moment when someone gets in a lucky sucker punch/stab and yells open season on the hapless victim. It’s like the frakkin’ Bat-signal because everyone stops what they are doing and literally pounces on the dude. In this case, there is one criminal and six Batmans who suddenly realize that he is the punk who shot his parents. Welcome to the fellowship maneuver.

This is a pretty accurate description. I just watched Batman Returns before logging on.

Originally Posted by teeptzu

People who do not prepare an FM and expect awesome are the same peeps that think High School the Musical is remotely real. Believe me, just like executing Wings of the Windlord on the fly, it is practically impossible for a bunch of high school kids to spontaneously burst into choreographed song and dance at the drop of a hat. You know those scenes where a dance or show unexpectedly erupts in a school cafeteria. Not real. I am serious. The only time a bunch of students do anything together in a cafeteria is clap when someone drops their tray. And, only half of the students do even that much together. I dare you to crank up the volume on your ghetto blaster, jump on table and pretend you are a runway model during lunch. By Thorin’s needly nose hair! You will see a fellowship maneuver alright. You will see it from the perspective of the victim as the lunch crowd Break the Door on your skull for stepping on their food.

I laughed so freaking hard at this. So true!!!

Awesome post!

I also agree with you on RKs main healing. Traited for encourage-giving morale, and a stone with even a few healing legacies, we can watch the green numbers flutter away from members heads with the satisfaction of knowing they are safe under our watch.

A mob gets too friendly while your giving your pals some wonderous foreshadow....taz'em with Shocking Touch until someone else pulls them off ya. I actually quite enjoy watching them sway next to you in a daze while I get back to business. Price ya pay for getting up in my grill, ya know?!

You should go creepside and do some warband maneuvers. They are all basically worthless, but they have the best names EVER.

Web of Terror
Tempest of Corruption
An Ill Wind
Trembling at the Knees

Win.