Thread: 3 things a champion would like you to know... cause I hate you and want you to cry..

I read a lot of things about champions on the forums, and I think it's time to clear up some misunderstandings. First, understand that the only way to win an encounter is by killing the mobs. This is through DPS. And because of our great AOE DPS, champions are the most important member of the group. But we fill other roles as well. Mostly, we optimize fellowships. How? Because we know these things:


1. Minstrels are lazy. I mean, come on. To do our max DPS, we need to be in Fervour, which has a -30% healing penalty. This just means that the minstrel must heal us 30% more. But sometimes they complain about this. This makes no sense. They rolled a healing class to heal, and now they get to heal 30% more! They should be thanking us. If someone said to me "Do 30% more DPS" I'd say "OK!"


Minstrel carry around lutes and wear fancy hats. We need to keep them on their toes, or they will drift off and start daydreaming about butterflies, fancy hats, and butterflies in fancy hats.


2. Loremasters are afraid of almost everything. Seriously. All of their skills are based around this. They mez and root to keep the scary things away. If that fails, they debuff it, so it seems a little less scary to them. And they have pets to help keep things away from them, and to have someone to cuddle with in case they have a bad dream or something.


Champions are not afraid. We are there to AOE DPS, and not hitting things is counterproductive. So we must break every mez we see. And the purpose of roots is to keep everything together so it is easier to AOE it all.

Don't worry, little LM. The mighty champ will save you, even if you are just some weirdo in a bathrobe.


3. Raging Blades is the best skill ever. It hits a lot of targets, hits them hard, and adds threat. There is nothing not awesome about this. And it makes an awesome noise. SHING-SHING! When the fellowship hears that, they know it's go time! SHING-SHING! OMG, it's so awesome I would do it constantly if I could. Too bad its on a 10 second cooldown.


Sometimes, a guardian or a warden will say "Don't charge in there and Raging Blades before I get good aggro" but really what they mean is "I'm totally jealous of that skill. Please don't use it and make me look like a wuss. I want to run up to those mobs and like yell at them some, and then pound on my shield menacingly. Ooh I'm so tough." Hahaha. To bad, it's DPS time! SHING-SHING!


Then they'll say things like "Well, if you can't hold back, then at least Ebbing Ire on to me." But they do not understand to purpose of Ebbing Ire. It is used to punish lorebreakers. If I'm ever grouped with an RK an I think he's out DPSing me, I'll Ebbing Ire on to him. Take that lorebreaker! Behold the wrath of Tolkien!

If I could pick them up and throw them into a well Darth Vader-style, I would.



Just realize that while champions are awesome, we want you to be awesome too. That's why we do the things we do.

+1 Just what I needed on a long Friday afternoon.

Awesome post, and +10 radiance for mentioning Darth Vader.

Nice post.

Rune-keepers ARE Darth Vader.

One of the funniest posts I've seen in a long time. Great work. the RK-lorebreaker-ebbingIre bit was priceless. "Behold the wrath of Tolkien!" grandtastic

Originally Posted by jeedai

Rune-keepers ARE Darth Vader.

There is a fundamental problem with that assertion, but I'll let you figure it out

Otherwise, great lulz for a Friday afternoon.

This is great satire.




It is satire, right?

Originally Posted by Harumph

Then they'll say things like "Well, if you can't hold back, then at least Ebbing Ire on to me." But they do not understand to purpose of Ebbing Ire. It is used to punish lorebreakers. If I'm ever grouped with an RK an I think he's out DPSing me, I'll Ebbing Ire on to him. Take that lorebreaker! Behold the wrath of Tolkien!

If I could pick them up and throw them into a well Darth Vader-style, I would.

You just won lotro \o/

Originally Posted by Harumph

But they do not understand to purpose of Ebbing Ire. It is used to punish lorebreakers. If I'm ever grouped with an RK an I think he's out DPSing me, I'll Ebbing Ire on to him. Take that lorebreaker! Behold the wrath of Tolkien!

The whole post is a riot, but that bit is beyond awesome.

It's funny because it's true.

I love it....So true

Originally Posted by Harumph

2. Loremasters are afraid of almost everything. Seriously. All of their skills are based around this. They mez and root to keep the scary things away...Don't worry, little LM. The mighty champ will save you, even if you are just some weirdo in a bathrobe.

Please stop breaking my mezzes. *cries a little*

Lol- great post.

nice. Thank you.

I am a Champion, and I approve of this message.

You sir, have just won one internets. Thank you, come again!

Most DEFINITELY Post of the Day.

And if the post did not do it, the name alone is worth looking at!

*grin*

One does not simply walk into Mordor and demand cookies...





























...but a Champion does it anyway.

Originally Posted by Thalifea

There is a fundamental problem with that assertion, but I'll let you figure it out

Otherwise, great lulz for a Friday afternoon.

There's only one hero in LotRO. That's me, on my Rune-keeper. I ignore everyone else. They're breaking my immersion. Those in my groups are the friends helping the hero (me). Everyone can say the same. Many Rune-keepers, one person.

Besides, who says a Sith Lord can't have several manifestations of himself?

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Empire
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/One_Sith

Originally Posted by jeedai

Rune-keepers ARE Darth Vader.

Is it so wrong to want a Nagzul robe for my RK? lol

Ahahahahhahaha. Nice work!

This post needs to be inlaid in mithril on the palms of the Argonauth. Epic.

Originally Posted by Silverangel

Please stop breaking my mezzes. *cries a little*

Lol- great post.

And my traps!


I agree, awesome post! And my sister loremaster never runs away from a fight, just so you know. She runs right in, she's a freakin nutbag!

Originally Posted by Harumph

1. Minstrels are lazy. I mean, come on. To do our max DPS, we need to be in Fervour, which has a -30% healing penalty. This just means that the minstrel must heal us 30% more. But sometimes they complain about this. This makes no sense. They rolled a healing class to heal, and now they get to heal 30% more! They should be thanking us. If someone said to me "Do 30% more DPS" I'd say "OK!"

We're supposed to heal champions? Man, I learn something new everyday about this game.

Shing Shing!

As a minstrel I must admit the -30% healing penalty for fervor isn't a problem. Champs are near the bottom of my priority healing list any way. (only hunters are lower)

Truth is the penalty is only a problem for those mini's who insist on running WS mode, and they aren't really healers any way.

Awesome post and thanks for the ebbing ire tip! Goodbye to anyone that steals my agro!!! Muahahahaha!!!

vouch - man this is great

Originally Posted by Harumph

1. Minstrels are lazy.

Really?

*Picks up his lute, walks over to Harumph and EL KABONG!*

I think you need to change your tune.

:P

-30%? That's nothing. My CBR is on all the time because I like my minstrels to feel challenged during easy instances like Dark Delvings.

Originally Posted by hillard1959

Really?

*Picks up his lute, walks over to Harumph and EL KABONG!*

I think you need to change your tune.

:P

You one funny guy Quicksdraw!

hahahaha! This is the best thing I've read on the forums today. Actually, I think this is the best thing I've read on the forums ever!

You sir, are the spokesman for champions everywhere

/salute

Lol, this gave me something to laugh about in a terrible day in my life. Very nicely written.

+ whatever everyone else gave you

Oh, the hilarity!

Great read. I think it should be made a sticky.

Originally Posted by Boraxxe

You one funny guy Quicksdraw!

Actually...

We need more posts like this.

Actually that SHING-SHING thing you hear is my hula-hoop I wear during fighting... I heard it helps improve coordination or something like that and now I just freakin' love using it!

Heal champs in fervour? I prefer the pile of boasting steel to smolder and moan in the solitude they call upon themselves.