Part 6 goes out to the Officers and other Lore Lovers in my kin: The Meaning of Haste. I salute your encyclopedic knowledge of LotR and only mock it with love in the following installment. Please remember, it’s the caffeine talking. Also, please note that the Staniel mentioned in this story is not a fictional character. She is not only for real, but pure awesome. Thank you for levels 50-58, Stan (and Chaross). Finally, thank you to Noname of Ring of Fire for reminding me to post this week's rant.
Sometimes it is pointed out that if Rune-Keepers are for real, then why didn’t Aragorn take any on his Mt. Doom raid?
While Aragorn did not technically make the final choices, he did approve the final group make-up as the Fellowship leader. Therefore, this is a good question. And the simple answer is: Aragorn is insane and needs help.
There. I said it. I went there.
I know, I know. I just spoke blasphemy to all the Aragorn fan boys but you have to hear me out.
First, a bit of history. I don’t know if you are aware but Aragorn fought a Nazgul before he arrived at Rivendell. And, while that is freaking brave, that is not the kicker. The kicker is that he fought it with a TORCH!!!! First, Daredevil decided that popping a Hope Token for the rest of the fellowship would just make the fight too easy. Apparently, he felt the same way about weapons and decided to abandon his sword for a stupid torch. Ask yourselves, how would you feel if at the beginning of Book 1.5.8, your fellowship leader said that we would not use hope tokens or weapons at the Nazgul fight and started handing out torches? I think our little venture would suddenly be a 5 man instance and the first boss fight would be that leader’s skull.
Second, I want to point out that he not only failed to take any Rune-Keepers, HE DID NOT TAKE ANY MAIN HEALERS WHATSOEVER!!! That is right: there were no minstrels either. When was the last time you went on ANY raid without a Minstrel or Rune-Keeper? This is not the Great Barrows for Heaven’s sake, this is Mt. Freaking DOOM. It’s all in the name. Take a hint. If you asked me to Raid Mt. Hello Kitty, I might be amicable to bringing only off-healers, but no way am I going to someplace with “DOOM” in its name without a healer. As far as I can tell, Aragorn is going to depend on LM healing and CJ healing from his burglars. Which leads me to point three…
His burglars are Noobs. Did you meet them? I did. I mean, they are cool people to hang out with but they need more experience. After their performance at Weathertop, I would not be surprised if these guys were afraid of being struck from the darkness and popped Hope Tokens as night lights. In fact, I swear I saw Pippin pop a token to go to the bathroom last night. They are simply not ready.
Seriously, I am still puzzled as to why these guys. I tried telling Aragorn that if he was going to take a hobbit burglar, take that Old dude with the riddles. HE IS CRAZY. My buddy Staniel introduced me to this old codger and I was like “what a sweet old hobbit dude.” Then, Stan suddenly screamed “He has PRECIOUS!!!” I turned around to say “What the…” And, before I knew it, this dude jumped on my back and started tearing at my shirt like some frenzied spider-monkey. I literally had to scribe spark his behind and blast him with Epic Conclusion before he stopped. Then, with his hair still smoking (and Staniel laughing in the background), he started asking me riddles like nothing happened. THIS HOBBIT’S HAIR WAS STILL SMOKING and he shrugged it off like it was nothing. I swear the guy even smiled when I said “Glove.” Man, I don’t know about Frodo and them, but this Bilbo is off the chain.
But, Aragorn said that he was too old. Too old? I hit this guy with 1.21 Jigawatts of lightning. In other words, if that “old-as-the-hills” hobbit was holding a flux capacitor, he would be travelling in time. Instead, he shook it off and started asking me riddles about brooms. All I am saying is that old or not, I am wearing Radiance Gear the next time I see that fool.
Fourth, on the way to Mt. Doom, Aragorn said he was going to raid the Watcher with only one hunter. ONE!!! And, that is not even the crazy part. The crazy part is that he is still not going to pick up a healer and he is doing it with only nine people. NINE!!! IT IS A TWELVE PERSON RAID!!! He is literally leaving three slots open. Believe me, I pleaded with the guy, but being a Rune-Keeper has nothing to do with his choice. Aragorn thinks that healing classes are an exploit and filling out Raids is not L33T.
So, the bottom line is that Rune-Keepers would be in the fellowship if Aragorn was not the Evel Kinieval of Middle Earth. I bet that Ranger would jump 12 flaming goats on Shadowfax into the Pupil of Sauron himself if you asked him. And, he would not want any Minstrels or Rune-Keepers standing by. Cause where is the fun in surviving? Arwen, I have only two words for you: Life Insurance. Get it.
So, do not come at me with all this “Rune-Keepers were not part of the Fellowship of the Ring” stuff. By this same measure, Minstrels and Wardens are not for real as well. And, if you are insane enough to believe that horse-pucky then I am not only putting you on /ignore, I am hiding all my torches.
"There are many powers in the world, for good and for evil. Some are greater than I am. Against some I have not yet been measured. But my time is coming. "
ARAGORN HAS HAX!!! He rolled a ranger without being in the Moors! He's not insance, he's cheating!
LOL
Originally Posted by jeedai
Yep, with a Captain (Boromir), a LM (Gandalf), and the Burlgar CJs, he should be fine without a main healer.
Yes, he will be fine as long as nothing happens to the Captain and the Lore-master...
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"There are many powers in the world, for good and for evil. Some are greater than I am. Against some I have not yet been measured. But my time is coming. "
Aragorn is ancient evil lvl 80, he could take sauron solo.....but he couldnt get ride of goldtaggers
As much as a lore master may look, feel, act like gandalf, they are just "conjurers of cheap tricks", summon an ent, call lightining for the sky, these are just too cheap, leet wizard only uses torches, i mean 110v lava-lamp staff or flash-bang fireworks.
Mic GAIN too loud makes my ears bleed!
R8 Rune-keeper Triggermage
R8 Weaver Feetless | R5 Warg Smograt | R4 Warleader Creeptronic
Ah, but you're thinking that all the hobbits were burglars, when, in fact, Pippin was definitely a Minstrel. Was he not the comic relief of the party, raising everyone's morale with his little jests and jokes?
And frankly, you don't need a whole 12-man raid, or even more than one Hunter for the Watcher. Aragorn just evaluated the strengths of his Fellowship and knew that they would be fine if everyone was on the ball... and they were. It was that nubcake Gandalf that pulled a Leroy Jenkins by going off after the Balrog alone...
Narlinde, level 85 Minstrel, Rank 10, Member of Trucido ~ Windfola
Ah, but you're thinking that all the hobbits were burglars, when, in fact, Pippin was definitely a Minstrel. Was he not the comic relief of the party, raising everyone's morale with his little jests and jokes?
I've heard Sam referred to as a Minstrel or Guardian too (and Merry was DEFINITELY a Hobbit Warden). Frodo was a healer. He had to be, no one else draws aggro like that
Wow, Teepster, only 22 posts and 6 of them are composed of pure awesome. What a ratio!
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"There are many powers in the world, for good and for evil. Some are greater than I am. Against some I have not yet been measured. But my time is coming. "
Ratios going to go way up since the first 12 of his posts were on thread that will be erased in the coming purges. The other 10 posts were all Rune-keepers are for real, meaning 10/10 are "pure awesome".
Yes Teepster, your posts are awesome. I'd send you a stack of RK consumables once they come out...if you weren't already a Scholar
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!! I now have to look for Parts 1-5, because I missed them. I LOVE YOU! (Not really, but you know what I mean).
Level 43 Man Captain (Dagaruil) - Scholar; Level 32 RuneKeeper (Dagazal) - Jeweller
If the healer dies, it's the tank's fault. If the tank dies, it's the healer's fault.
If the DPS dies, it's their own fault. As a general rule. Geoboy
It is impossible for this to be a Rune-keeper because...
It's bald. Elves can't be bald. I don't remember if Dwarfs can be, but...
It has no beard, therefore it can't be a Dwarf.
It's throwing something, therefore, it cannot be a Rune-keeper. (LM being the only class that throws anything (Burning Embers))
From the looks and the pose, it appears to be a Defiler.
It is impossible for this to be a Rune-keeper because...
It's bald. Elves can't be bald. I don't remember if Dwarfs can be, but...
It has no beard, therefore it can't be a Dwarf.
It's throwing something, therefore, it cannot be a Rune-keeper. (LM being the only class that throws anything (Burning Embers))
From the looks and the pose, it appears to be a Defiler.
Hmm. I think Dwarves can be bald, but you're right about the beard. Still, it is wearing Light Armor, and it hasn't actually thrown anything yet, so it might just be a new overhead smash animation that's coming in Book 7. Some classes (champs and guards at least I think) can throw axes.
Thanks to picture poster: this made me laugh.
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"There are many powers in the world, for good and for evil. Some are greater than I am. Against some I have not yet been measured. But my time is coming. "
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Re: Rune-Keepers are for real, Part 6
Teepster is the Rune-keeper's answer to TheStormKing.
"There will be prizes and gambling as usual to celebrate Columbus’s triumphant rise from the dead to smite his enemies without mercy. Don’t count yourself amongst them! We’ll be discussing and praising all of Columbus’s many inventions such as the lightbulb, telegraph, and plastic to avoid incurring his wrath."
I have now read all six, except part 3 (which I found nowhere). I LOVED them all except Part 4 (still some funny parts, but not as good as the others, IMHO).
CONTINUE MAKING MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Level 43 Man Captain (Dagaruil) - Scholar; Level 32 RuneKeeper (Dagazal) - Jeweller
If the healer dies, it's the tank's fault. If the tank dies, it's the healer's fault.
If the DPS dies, it's their own fault. As a general rule. Geoboy
It is impossible for this to be a Rune-keeper because...
It's bald. Elves can't be bald. I don't remember if Dwarfs can be, but...
It has no beard, therefore it can't be a Dwarf.
It's throwing something, therefore, it cannot be a Rune-keeper. (LM being the only class that throws anything (Burning Embers))
From the looks and the pose, it appears to be a Defiler.
Dwarves can be both bald and beardless. I don't trust beardless dwarves but there are some. Wardens also throw things, and at times RKs sort of levitate their stones for short periods of times, sort of like throwing then recalling them. Plus I don't see why he has to be throwing something, it looks to me he could be preparing to use a super cool RK skill. lolz
Ratios going to go way up since the first 12 of his posts were on thread that will be erased in the coming purges. The other 10 posts were all Rune-keepers are for real, meaning 10/10 are "pure awesome"
wrong, the purge doesnt alter post count, it just removes the post and leaves post counts unaffected
Thank you! Now, Teepster, when will #7 in the series come out?
Level 43 Man Captain (Dagaruil) - Scholar; Level 32 RuneKeeper (Dagazal) - Jeweller
If the healer dies, it's the tank's fault. If the tank dies, it's the healer's fault.
If the DPS dies, it's their own fault. As a general rule. Geoboy
I've heard Sam referred to as a Minstrel or Guardian too (and Merry was DEFINITELY a Hobbit Warden). Frodo was a healer. He had to be, no one else draws aggro like that
Doh! This just made me laugh. Thank You!
To the OP, now that you mentioned it, yep the guy was nuts. Awesome post!
Oh, I know Gandalf wasn't a LM, but that's the best class to compare him to in the situation. (also, many of the skills Radagast used in 1.2.8 were based on LM skills)
"There are many powers in the world, for good and for evil. Some are greater than I am. Against some I have not yet been measured. But my time is coming. "
"There are many powers in the world, for good and for evil. Some are greater than I am. Against some I have not yet been measured. But my time is coming. "
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He rolled a ranger without being in the Moors! He's not insance, he's cheating! 
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Originally Posted by jeedai
ARAGORN HAS HAX!!!
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Rofl!
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Re: Rune-Keepers are for real, Part 6
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